returned mail

 

returned mail

 

 

 

i addressed form in a poem once

then tried it again several years later

but forgot the P.O. box number

and the zip code

and ended up in a Cinquain when i was trying

just to do a hymnal type refrain Ala Emily Dickinson

 

i did remember a rhyme or two

a bit of onomatopoeia 

and some assonance

 

but when i read it over

i felt like an assonance

because there was no feeling

no guts

no if's, and's or but's 

an inconsequential failure of words

cold as a winter sigh's breath

 

form might have been the norm

once upon a time

in the Old West of poetry

but now seemed oddly out of place

like a machine gun among six shooters

and a normal bullet against a werewolf's coat

 

i addressed form in a poem once

but didn't have enough inspiration

to lick a stamp

 

and now am left with box cutter pieces

wrapped in rubber band regret

filed in a drawer

of my dust covered mind.

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/30/19

Reviews

[Chris]

Don't ya just "hate" that? Way back when - I wrote to all the "given" styles - no issues at all, no blocks, stalls, nor freezes. I answered EVERY challenge I saw, heard, or was given... and learned I really wanted to just be me. So I haven't looked back. You "touched" a real perception of our common reality here... and did it well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i hear ya, Chris...me Too on just wanting to be me...i was on another site and was criticized harshly for not trying other forms. Yet I had already done that many years before and found my own niche...they bashed me for that...and others on the site...i left...i am so glad that you haven't looked back....i so enjoy your style..
j.

[Chris Shaw]

What a clever write this is. I love it Jacob. All I can say is form takes an incredible amount of patience. I have many broken pieces still waiting to be mended.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and i am sure you will mend them soon...thanks for sharing and the kind words, Chris.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha ...well you have cast the die eh!? ;) ...funny jacob, i have been rumbling around in me own dusty nog trying to think of a form i might try ... but you know .. all those "....box cutter pieces" only need a bit of tape or glue to make a wondrous collage or two ... especially enjoy these line:
"but when i read it over
i felt like an assonance" :)))))))))))))
E.
ps. i only learned recently "onomatopoeia" exists ... from a free online class i took ... seeing it mentioned i could not remember the meaning ... so i looked it up .. for posterity's sake.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, E. yes, i need too much glue sometimes.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

;) ..................

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Love the way you take a subject and make it say so much with so much impact in few sparing lines. I guess I am with you on this one even though I am prone to try different forms. I still see free verse as my anchor.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words and relating, John,
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Most of us are too poetry-ignorant to include classic forms in our work.
We, frankly, don't know what we're doing; you, at least, know what you're not doing.
Awe-inspiring piece!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

:)))
thank you, Jimmy....i am not sure i know anything i am or am not doing...i just do it.read more:)))
thank you, Jimmy....i am not sure i know anything i am or am not doing...i just do it.

j.