returned mail

 

returned mail

 

 

 

i addressed form in a poem once

then tried it again several years later

but forgot the P.O. box number

and the zip code

and ended up in a Cinquain when i was trying

just to do a hymnal type refrain Ala Emily Dickinson

 

i did remember a rhyme or two

a bit of onomatopoeia 

and some assonance

 

but when i read it over

i felt like an assonance

because there was no feeling

no guts

no if's, and's or but's 

an inconsequential failure of words

cold as a winter sigh's breath

 

form might have been the norm

once upon a time

in the Old West of poetry

but now seemed oddly out of place

like a machine gun among six shooters

and a normal bullet against a werewolf's coat

 

i addressed form in a poem once

but didn't have enough inspiration

to lick a stamp

 

and now am left with box cutter pieces

wrapped in rubber band regret

filed in a drawer

of my dust covered mind.

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/30/19

Reviews

[Chris]

Don't ya just "hate" that? Way back when - I wrote to all the "given" styles - no issues at all, no blocks, stalls, nor freezes. I answered EVERY challenge I saw, heard, or was given... and learned I really wanted to just be me. So I haven't looked back. You "touched" a real perception of our common reality here... and did it well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i hear ya, Chris...me Too on just wanting to be me...i was on another site and was criticized harshly for not trying other forms. Yet I had already done that many years before and found my own niche...they bashed me for that...and others on the site...i left...i am so glad that you haven't looked back....i so enjoy your style..
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Not sure what all the fuss is about to tell you the truth, j. Writing is writing...poetry is poetry...I have seen as many styles as there are writers and I have been fascinated by them all. Al Purdy is one of my favourites but there have been too many to track properly. I know we were taught Rhyme and meter and all the other jazz, but sooner or later we find our "voice" or style that works for us.
You have a distinct way of writing that I like. I am envious at times but then I seem to have found my voice as well and I am comfortable with it.

Piss on the naysayers.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and you have your signature style as well, my friend. we find what suits us...and others can go scratch.
thank you...
j.

[Lorry]

In complete agreement, both yourself and Chris' comment below. We are all taight form and structure, but the point is, like everything in life, to find what speaks to us, in our own voice.
I am so in envious awe of those who can feel a sonnet and capture it in their own words and hope one day to feel my own emerge, but it has to be in our own voice or else it feels like a cover being sung badly.
Yours is most certainly a voice found Jacob. I feel multiple reads are in order to enjoy the layers in your words.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"a cover being sung badly"
such an apt description....yes.
thank you for your insights and sharing, Lorry,
j.

[Dave]

I'm with you. Maybe I'm just to lazy or perhaps too old to worry about correct meter or whatever. What I feel, is what I write. I must admit that I envy those that can manage to rhyme their work - but hey!

Take care - Dave

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, i admire those who can do form well enough to make it sound like it came naturally...but i am like you...what i feel, what comes through me...generally free verse...
thanks, Dave.
j.

[h d e rushin]

like redzone...I see some cummings..which means, the more we write poetry, the more we fall into the footsteps of the exchange of ideas....It is inescapable my friend....dana

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, inescapable...so true...thank you, dana
j.

[andrew mitchell]

It’s funny like writing your signature, eventually one finds the style that suits you which becomes your signature style.well written by the master of pen strokes or in this case key strokes!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, andrew,
j.

[Stella Armour]

ah, what a shame Jacob, i think poetry written in form is the best kind of all ... but then again , each to their own :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, i agree, each poet finds his or her own niche..and many are most comfortable with rhyme, sonnets, etc. It depends on the poet...rhyme and i seldom get along....but we do try once in awhile...and i do like to write haiku and senryu...so there is some form...:)))

[Stella Armour]

I enjoy haiku as well ..... not overly keen on the popular short version :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i'm not sure the Japanese are too keen on the short version either.

[Stella Armour]

I have a poetess friend in Australia and it seems very popular over there ... too much brevity doesn't work

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i hear ya, my friend.

[redzone]

sometimes I think give me some ee cummings, but then I realize that even he has become a form, a style that some try to copy to be "hip" but say nothing with their words, nor do they paint the sky with words and images... to write in one style/form or to attempt to just do rhyme, is to deny the dynamic way that poetry can be... this is not to say that a rhyming poem or sonnet is not poetry, or art, they can be... but poetry is subjective, and should be, it's diverse expression should be encouraged....

I guess what I am trying to express is that, for me it is not form/style that touches my heart, but the content, what the poem is expressing that matters most... and also for me I often find myself in assonance land with no paddle... unlike you Jacob I put these in the circular file besides my desk... lol..

so there I went off to 'tangiers' which is always a good place to go to when reading your poetry... and occasionally I make sense.... ;0)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ah yes, i went through a cummings phase way way back...i guess we try many things to find our own niche...and you always make perfect sense, Curt...
thank you for your words,
j.

[Pax]

its feels like having the old emotions coming back from old poems, re-reading, editing and kept changing until dust falls off... well its just there waiting... hmm.... :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing your thoughts, Pax...much appreciated.
j.

[Beccy]

Not seeing the wood for the trees is the tripwire of life. Form for the sake of form, is like lip service to the quest for love, never quite comes from the heart, or reaches its intended destination.

Wonderful use of our language here jacob.

Beccy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Beccy,
j.

[Beccy]

I have no doubt that form would come easy to you if you so chose. Your skill with words makes that a given.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i do like writing Haiku and Senryu but other than that...too confining to me...i just let it rip as it will...thank you again, Beccy,
j.