orchestrating the moves

orchestrating the moves

 

 

eccentric composer

mentally insane music

blaring from white walls

with Beethoven graffiti

smeared upon the notes

symphonic spray-painted illusions

accredited to the deaf poet of the strings

 

percussive persuasion

back seat conductor

shedding wares for a violin solo

she dances with his hands

and he loves her with "fur elise" intentions

tickling the ivory contours 

of her deliciously debutante form

as the night falls out of favor with the moon

 

and cats yawn and stretch on back alley fences

while a city sleeps

within the grooves of youthful

renaissance----  

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/20/18

Reviews

[lightsong]

Your brilliant creative title dragged me in. it's such a powerful piece filled with poetry, music merging with passion and love, trying to make the note high and high... trying to burst the air, the space, everything around... in Your first two verses, for me it was You drawing the state when I have a writer's block and I use music for inspiration, or when I'm so drown into a song and I keep listing to it again and again and again... my fingers move to its music.. I become deaf and my words written down, all with Your second verse, all with and about bonding and melting with Love. Thank You for sharing such a creative wonderful piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Light.
j.

[Jennesis]

This felt so beautifully sensual and sexual to me. I love the thought of bodies playing music with each other.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Jen...

j.

[Ted Kniffen]

"In a white room with black curtains..." there is more than just a little musicality to this piece j.
Madness on the stage...at the keyboard...in back seats everywhere. Roll over Beethoven tickling ivory contours with deft hands.

Well done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love your comment...i am "at the station"
my keyboard is my station.

It's sort of a white room, but more the one of craziness.
thank you, Ted.
j.

[Lyn Anderson]

Has a definitely "cool" vibe - so good at painting that picture with an economy of words but powerful and recognizable references to past and modern culture/music

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lyn.
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This sounded very "beat poet" with its tempo and flare. Almost bohemian in its short, chopped descriptions and wonderful use of alliteration. I enjoyed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i appreciate your words...i started writing poetry back in 1970--influenced by three sources...my best friend Jane (a wonderful poet), Simon and Garfunkel and then my first modern American poetry class in which we studied all the Beats...they were all influential...
so i guess we follow our roots...
thanks again, Fabian.

[dead letter office]

loved the musical metaphor and reference to Beethoven and "fur elise" well writ. the modern urban touches to spray paint and alleyways.

Blessings and peace.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Christos.
j.

[Crowley]

I owe you a few of these, and I am so glad I stopped by. This was an amazing mesh of modern and historical phrasing playing against a backdrop of music and hip New York style chill pads. And the cat...the neo icing on the cake. Really loved this.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Crowley.
j.

[andrew mitchell]

picture perfect on words said Jacob. I liked the inclusion of fur Elise, clever indeed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, andrew.
j.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I am swept into the majestic dream of this glorious montage that unfolds for me across the moonlit sky. The first half sets the scene perfectly.. leaving her in his more than capable hands to dance the night away while the city sleeps. Amazingly romantic! My favorite line....she dances with his hands....stellar.

ps. I played the violin as a child and i like the...shredding wares for a violin solo as well!:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words and sharing your violin!
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

jacob!! welcome back .. your break was obviously a good one :) very fine read for me ..lots of quotable lines .. universal, multi layered and very subjective to interpret .. mostly i am the man with ridiculous fantasies of Don Juan ;} suffering the insanity of love and lust ... but man...one can go to a lot of places between the lines of "Orchestrating the moves" .. title and poem are one says i ..this is a keeper for sure
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

hi E.---back temporarily at least...school has taken me away...super busy summer semester...couldn't keep up with reading and commenting...I really like your Don Juan offering...thank you for reading, sharing your thoughts, and the welcome back.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

i'll be praying for extra boosts of energy to come your way my friend ..:)