the right to die

the right to die

 

 

 

suicide by lips

feel the blade's penetration

to the hips

 

shaky knees collapse

like the fluttering heart

into repose

 

the victim knows

he did this to himself

by letting her close

 

and now he lies comatose

still reeling with the feeling

deep inside

 

but nobody notices

they think he is sleeping

as he lies there 

still reaping

 

the ignition

of the kiss

he is grateful

he did not miss

 

oh beautiful death.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/2/18

Reviews

[lightsong]

ohhh! that''s something REALLY special! amazing poem, and the end.... what's better?! a kiss, the door to the realm, to sit, to imagine, to dream, to feel.... then oh to die!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, Light
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

What a way to go! No one would notice....only the two involved. Even when it is obvious we are headed down an emotionally destructive path, it is hard to make a u-turn. Loved the rhyming in this one. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

every once in awhile, the muse directs my chorus to rhyme...even though i am not so fond of it...thank you for your kind review, Lydi.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

You do it well, my friend....but I prefer the non-rhyming too.

[barleygirl]

This is brilliant! One of the most powerful messages I’ve read from you in a while. I love it when someone can portray the seductive power of suicide without judgment & you’ve done that better than anyone ever, for me at least! Your rhyming & rhythm really pop in a way that harmonizes with the slightly tentative sensations emanating from your words (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Margie.
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Replete with the heaviness of tragedy in a veer of beauty. Jacob this is good! whoa!

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Al.
j.

[h d e rushin]

I read this morning of the man who tried to take a selfie with a bear and the bear killed him. I tried to write a poem about it but it became too much. Sometimes death (in poetry) is so completely subservient to the dominating influence of living, that it is hard as hell to contemplate the contradiction. Is the right to die a right at all? And if it is directly responsive to other mechanism like beauty or being in love, then wanting life out ways whatever benefit giving up can bring. Read "Parliament Hills Fields" from Plath's "crossing the Water". These were the ones she rushed out before she died, trying to romanticize her own ending while smearing, like an ant, all she touched with the saliva of her "feelings deep inside". They were beautiful, if the images of a dying woman can be, as you have suggested, oh beautiful death...............sorry for running on....but great poem. dana

[jacob erin-cilberto]

your response, better than the poem...yes, romanticizing our ending...smearing with the saliva of feelings...amen brother.
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Oh Death, where is thy sting…’tis in my kiss that’s the thing
Sometimes we are the moth and she the flame
And then we’ve but ourselves to blame.


Good one, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Ted.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

some kisses are just worth it :) so relatable my friend
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, E.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Anything for another kiss, even though the outcome is likely to hurt. It is easier to walk away, it is hell to stay and endure this torture, because that is how it seems. True love or obsession, I wonder? Great writing as usual Jacob.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Christine...you are a kind poet.
j.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Whoop Whoop! Spring is in full bloom! blowing kisses in the wind...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks, Queenie.
j.

[R.E. Ray]

J., you captured well the reality of what I'd call "true love." We must make ourselves fully vulnerable to enjoy the deepest intimacy and fulfillment. Yet, that unguarded closeness exposes heart and head to deadly dangers... but at least we die knowing true love. Your last line captures it all.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful and kind review, Robert.
j.