Friday Night Neon

Friday Night Neon

 

 

Bloomingdale's kisses

with dime store lips

she is a shallow dive

on fifth street

at the corner by the diner window

 

as i look out and write love poems on used napkins

her face enchants me

and she walks with a Mercedes Benz attitude

and a vicious sway

 

my pen is drying up as i write her into my memory

and wonder if the stores will be open the next Friday

on the chance she may walk by again.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/28/16

Reviews

[Papaya]

I love you how you have described this woman.
She is beautiful and confident and that is not something money can buy.
She could be an actress, a prostitute or a soccer mom.
It doesn't matter. She is a woman and knows it.
Captivating scene. Some women just have the certain something that turns heads.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Ana.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

You've set the scene, created the ambience. You too scribble on used paper napkins? Snap shot moment, her Mercedes Benz attitude (even they end up on the scrap heap). Observation from a diner, fleeting moment. Gone forever.....or maybe not.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Especially did when i was cooking pizzas at the restaurant...in between pulling them out, i was scrambling to jot down ideas on those napkins...they usually ended up with sauce all over them...thank you for relating and sharing.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

You just got to get those ideas down on paper (any paper)when you get them, wherever you are. Otherwise they can be lost forever. I sleep with a pen and paper next to the bed.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

I love this piece. It holds such a nice sense of placement. That casual glance at a person you've never known, may never know... But maybe. Great imagery.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, jennie.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

In this sense, poet, most men, too, are "shallow dives."
No apologies; we're just built that way.
In better times, a point of pride.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh yes, me too...thank you, Jimmy.
j.

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Strangers passing by can have a intoxicating effect on one putting us in a trace as if there’s some distant connection yearning to be reignited- in a special place and time - amazing thoughts you have taking us to many an interesting place 🌹

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Kelly.
j.

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

Always a pleasure🌹

[Phill Oz O'fee]

If this was after a Quesadilla, from The 59th & Lex Café – it certainly has created a wonderfully inspired write! Nice one my friend – loved it …

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Phill...:)))

[Norman 223]

I enjoyed the sardonic humour of this, Jacob The vision of writing love poems on used paper napkins could be either humorous or sordid, having described her Mercedes attitude in a dime store environment.
I read this as an open ended play on a hint of morality and affectation.

N.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Norman.
j.

[barleygirl]

This is the best depiction of people watching! It tells as much about the viewer as the viewee! There's nothing as inspiring as sitting in a café, watching life's unexpected characters appear & ping our imaginations *smile* Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Margie.
j.