Word Count

Word Count

elapsing synapse

the distance

elaborates

like a wordy essay

filler syllables ignite

into years of memory

a forgetful mind

remembers a touch

an embrace

the eyes of shelter

for a scared heart

when we kissed into midnight

the moon acknowledged with a half smile

as we ignored perception

became reflection

our world was made in an instant

and then lost a moment later

as unkind time

elapsing synapse

wrote us out of each other's life

before the title found its place

on our page.

erin-cilberto

4/3/18

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"Word Count"
erin-cilberto,
Hi Jacob, Well this poem really spoke to the emotion-mind-heart connection; even your ryming explained it's feeling. "Elapsing synapse the distance elaborates, Like a wordy essay filler syllables ignite into years of memory." Even a single event can cause a flame of memory to reignite a whole life of past experience.
I also found your use of these words really descriptive of the things connecting our thoughts and past life in mind: " forgetful mind remembers a touch an embrace the eyes of shelter for a scared heart"
I found your word choice creative and fitting to this whole amazing ability we as humans somehow possess to remember the past as real as today!
Blessings,
Kathy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Kathy.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

This reminded me very much of the film Brief Encounter. It's an oldie, and I wonder whether you have ever seen it? This experience, no doubt a delicious memory that rises to the surface every now and again. A most enjoyable read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am not bringing it up right now, might have seen it...but thank you for your kind review.
j.

[barleygirl]

This reminds me of a very beautiful best friend I had for a painfully short time. The word count just wasn't as plentiful as we'd hoped. I love the way your message starts out in a literary way & then the passionate sensations build more & more toward the end (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind heart, Margie.
j.

[KWP]

as we ignored perception, became reflection :D love that for so many reasons

the last stanza is perfect too - you have a real way of writing - I don't think my brain can manage this style of writing - clever, with depth and lullabies of meaning - oh and you are the epitome of Mr Romance :D

your words always make me smile and wonder X

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, KWP...
j.

[Tiana]

Your words moved me deeply, J. Matters not how brief the encounter -- the memory last a lifetime ... Wonderfully written.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Tiana.
j.

[Neville]

Even if it happens only once in a lifetime, it can be devastating, and lodges there for ever...These are truly great word dear friend..........

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Neville...
j.

[Neville]

Nowt but the write inspired it jacob my friend......

[andrew mitchell]

Just a word count now, a distant memory of what was but isn't now!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insight, andrew,

j.

[sette]

the thoughts of many emotions particularly love can be woven into words to be written on a paper to remind us that love needs to be cherished and not just on words alone. a powerful writing jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review. sette.
j.

[sette]

no problem jacob

[Lydia Shutter]

And yet those brief encounters of an intimate kind can be sweet memories ever after...obviously inspiring poetry! "We kissed into midnight"....ah, yes, I remember that sort of rendezvous. This one had me reflecting....on good things. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi.
j.

[Cryingkate]

I Loathe pulling a few words from someones poem and making it the focal of a review, As though nothing was grasped and all one could do is the mockingbird dance. But I fell deep into these two lines.:....."as we ignored perception
became reflection" from my view these two lines could support the whole poems DNA. it too reflects the way I've been analyzing my whole life since my Sister died. then my dog. I look back now on all my thoughts, beliefs .experiences as scenes from a long ago play and I ask why I had any emotion in them at all. Every moment is a fleeting moment. Why bother wasting energy and feeling anything deep anymore? I haven't the will to experience emotion enough to write songs or poems anymore. Oh I try a bit but that's because I came to visit my old friends.Of coarse you are one :-) I use to think emotion had to be in everything or else it was not. I regret pineing or exciting. Maybe I'll settle on a kinder balance as the answer but as of now I am questioning all these fleeting moments :-) Thanks for writing this subject. ok excuse any more gramical mistakes. I already edited twice...:-)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing how you relate to this piece, Connie...appreciate your words.
j.