the grains of it

the grains of it

 

 

dreary components

a compartmentalized day of love

 

metal detectors

lie detectors

beaches strewn with unwanted apparel

a nude beach where naked souls detach

true feelings sift through sandy compromises

 

we love in sunburned fashioned

too fast, too intense

and then the moderation happens to fall

and we become an autumn of derisive splendor

 

each step, one towards the breaking of the sun

and exposure to a fatal moon

 

and then the planets weep

for what could have been

if patience had found its reign

and sandcastles found intricate patterns

of perpetual attraction

within their silted walls.

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/28/18

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Very mesmerizing word crafting! I love the many beach references I'd forgotten all about since my last sandy days. The following stanza really stuns, a comparison so unexpected & true: "we love in sunburned fashioned . . . too fast, too intense . . . " it always amazes me the way you string together some random stars & craft it into a coherent pattern of sparkles! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind,Margie....thank you.
j.

[Vincent]

Simply beatiful. It would make a great song.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Vincent.
j.

[Stella Armour]

you are so clever, and i love your metaphorical language which can often be read several ways and so leaves the reader wondering if their interpretation is as you meant it to be.

Of course love is so intense , like the heat of the midday sun , and then it cools into a more temperate affection...well usually it does;n sometimes we are so absorbed we just burn out :(

[jacob erin-cilberto]

what my poems always mean is what the readers see....that makes me smile...
thank you Stella...
j.

[Stella Armour]

someone told me when i first started writing that once you share your poem it becomes what the reader interprets it as... so yes you are right :)

[Ardra]

we love in sunburned fashioned
too fast, too intense.. made me smile....so true...like a sunburn...

I kind of feel I can relate to your words ......so often I find myself in such places too...guess that's what happens when you love like this....
There can't be moderation in love....if we have control over it then it can't be love...

I heard this dialogue in a movie...we need a love that drives you crazy...Heheh...most of the time it manages to...but only issue is picking up after it's gone...wishing we had apply sun block before we got sunburn.... :))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing how you related to this piece....
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

A story of too much, too soon. Especially liked this line, "we love in sunburned fashioned too fast, too intense". Attraction like that is like spontaneous combustion...nothing compares, but it really does not last long. Good one, Jacob. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Lydi.
j.

[Paul Bell]

This feels like the automation of life.
We wind up in the morning and we're off.
Everything gets done, neat and efficient.
The sad thing is, we know we're doing it, but we're just too powerless to stop.
Reflection is today's byword.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, neat and efficient, but with how much feeling? thank you for your insightful words, Paul.
read moreyes, neat and efficient, but with how much feeling? thank you for your insightful words, Paul.
j.

[KWP]

grains of it indeed - it was just yesterday how I was thinking we humans are becoming more and more fractured hanging on the pendulum called 'the big scheme of things' every day it all becomes a little more distorted - thankfully we do have the constant of underlying love, if only everyone get the key to access it.

this was a whirlwind from tiny specks on the beach to the grandiose everywhen - epic and powerful - cheers for this one Jacob X

[KWP]

PS - I am such a fan of Cat Stevens X

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, if only...thank you for your words, KWP...
j.

[andrew mitchell]

All i could think of through out this fine piece was getting to the nitty gritty of things . excellent as usual Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, andrew...
j.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

As I read through your excellent composition, this quote was brought to mind: ‘Life's Tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.’ – Benjamin Franklin.
The sentiments reflected within your poetic text certainly highlight this very nicely! Kudos my friend.. :-)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Phill..yes, i believe Benjamin was absolutely right.
j.

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

So very beautiful and true- good things come to those who are patient believe and have faith - love is to be nurtured and cherished- like a new flower blooming anew s fresh- lust does not last but true love does forever- wonderful words🌹🌹

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Kelly.
j.