the falling

the falling

 

 

 

unrealistic terms

printed versions of lips meeting under autumn clouds

 

twisted leaves tumble between us

we wave through breezes of regret

 

fair skies do not intrude

although we would welcome the breech

 

but we know arms must unfold

consequence of timing was our burden

 

eyes burned against the religion of youth

but we saw through the flames

 

that even so many years later

the ashes would still smolder.

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/22/18

Reviews

[CD Campbell]

The religion of youth. I like that line. I like it cause you can throw the ashes in the garden and create something new. I have to remind myself that the atheistic world has no use for poetry. It'a all chemical. But I understand being burned by religion. The hatred of that can take you somewhere deeper though. It's great that you can search everyday in your lines and in your writing. Let the ashes smolder. CD

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very insightful look at this piece, CD
j.

[andrew mitchell]

We are a gullible lot! Excellent writing Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, andrew.
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Yes, the life-changing “falling” into young, impetuous, doomed love...your poem of vivid, flickering images and metaphors- color to b&w reel..your words paint a burst of autumn love with color blurring until only gray heartbreak remains on your palette...wrong time..wrong place..ashes left behind... Mesmerizing write from a Master Poet unsurpassed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Annette.
j.

[.]

Falling madly in love with another with such a strength and intensity that even though the timing was wrong when it occurred, years later the power of that attraction still scorches the Earth......if only those flames could be truly ignited with the application of soft kisses of air to the fire.

Regrets can be a real hindrance to happiness. We need to avoid the 'If only's" in life or turn them into 'why not's?'.

Another fine write, Jacob. True emotions on the page.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful reply, Doodley...

appreciate your thoughtfulness.
j.

[sette]

twisted leaves tumble between us

we wave through breezes of regret -- these lines are poignant, i just can't imagine how people survive through many regrets

[jacob erin-cilberto]

somehow they do, but it is tough, isn't it?
thank you, sette.
j.

[sette]

no problem

[AYVID N]

The ashes keep smouldering, its just that they are contained by the cruel winds of time. Instinctively, we know which flames will outlast the others.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you have such keen insights to the soul of the poet!
thank you, DIVYA...
j.

[AYVID N]

It is a pleasure Mr. Jacob! You are welcome.