your ashes still on my heart

your ashes still on my heart


secular beings
monks to the premise
solitude is serenity to some

the lucky ones
married to a theory of abstinence

i became your Lent
but i thought that was only temporary
40 days, 40 nights

now i am your Passover
you are not my serenity
solitude is feeling so alone
in a mass of people,

the good book lies open
pages fluctuating in a dark breeze
the candles nearly burnt out

and i am out of prayers
for your return,

i am Lent
365 days a year,
trying to remember if there ever was 
an Easter Sunday.


erin-cilberto
3/8/18

Reviews

[Ardra]

The title just stole my heart...
And the poem as usual one of its kind...
Wondering if there was celebration ever..with so much of sadness, one often forgets how it was to be joyous

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, unfortunately we do forget, don't we?

thank you, Galadriel.
j.

[Ardra]

Yes ... I feel it's a blessing we can forget at some point of time... otherwise life can never move forward... we would just remain stuck in the pain...must be God's way of protecting us from heart hemorrhage :)
Makes me want to write on this..

[Tom]

Solitude is nice and needed but we are social beings by nature, so 365 days a year of isolation and not knowing is she's going to reciprocate is just to dang long and improper!

The angst and yearning are palpable Jacob, superb pen my friend!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Tom.
j.

[CM-Stars]

What imagery! Such haunting loneliness in it. It's beautiful!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Charlotte.
j.

[User]

The holy imagery in this really gives the poem a profound and even haunting effect. “The lucky ones - married to a theory of abstinence.” My favourite takeaway from this... I’ve read around ten poems you’ve written now and this is my favourite! Thanks for sharing

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Dotty.
j.

[barleygirl]

Not having been around many practicing Catholics lately, I forget all the things this time of year represents for some. I love the way you weave these religious aspects into a metaphor about giving something up for 40 days or for a lifetime! *sigh!* Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Margie.
j.

[Relic]

Feeling alone is like a weight on the heart, pulling down with every breath. I've been there. My favorite line: the lucky ones married to a theory of abstinence.

If only there were a safe over the counter drug to change the mindset that abolishes loneliness. I think I'd buy it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, if only...thanks Tim...
j.

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

To run a good race and to keep to the narrow path is not for the faint hearted - the walk can be lonesome and very trying but the end results are promising and full of beauty and endless love serene- timing is always perfect- never late ALWAYS on time- patience- wonderful words- really felt each word🌹

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Kelly.
j.

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

Only a pleasure🌹

[MomzillaNC]

Stunning use of holy imagery – a profound word painting of loss and loneliness.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, MomZ...
j.

[MomzillaNC]

😎 You’re welcome

[.]

Damn! Such profound sadness in this write, Jacob.

Love the religious references throughout! Us humans are funny beings. At times we aspire to solitude and even revel in it, and at others we are overcome by a cloak of gregariousness and long for love and intimacy. But there is nothing worse than eternal solitude. It's such a lonely, colourless existence. And to be "passed over" and left in this oblivion is one of life's great tragedies.

As always, wonderful references and metaphors, especially relevant for the coming holidays. I hope your Easter is filled with serenity and not solitude. Fine work, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Doodley.
j.

[AYVID N]

Your words ring so true Mr. Jacob. Solemnity seems eternal. I have a hard time recalling the festivity, the sunshine. Appreciated a lot.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, DIVYA..
j.