Another Poem that Looks like You

 

Another Poem that Looks like You

 

 

you  pose with your hundred poems

and long haired demeanor

fill space with an accountant's dream

of tax exempt words

subsidies of gratuitous writing

a figure developed in sums of years

of scattered thoughts, and recent photos

a block of ideas that could fill several houses

in several states of mind

a refugee allowed to live in this country

with your poem books as passport

even though you are from here,

you are alien to the grief of others

mingling is not your style

you close your shutters

so others' light is kept foreign to your own

 

it must be hard to see those photos

in the dark

isolation of one prolific mind

constantly binding its belongings

and posting so many "for sale"

signs on the pages of your lawns

 

that you forget how many feelings

you actually own.

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/11/1o

Reviews

[CD Campbell]

Ouch. I don't have long hair so I was like "whew". Lol. Sorry, after reading those last two lines I had to break the tension. If there is one thing I hate its arrogance in poetry. Aren't people aware that writing and self doubt go together like peanut butter and "insert regional condiment here". This poem of yours was biting and like a runaway train to the inevitable crash at the end. I will say that a year or two ago someone on here wrote to me and offered to teach me how to write poetry "properly". I will send them the link to this poem. Thanks. CD

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am thinking of naming my next book after this poem...but i might get sued if i do...unfortunate that some are so selfish...thank you for sharing your story...wow. talk about arrogance...i would love to see a bit of that person's work.....bet it is crap....
i really enjoy how you write...people are well, what they are.
thank you, CD.
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Another one of your best Jacob, loved this!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew...appreciate it.
j.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Hey great poetical 'get'; reminds me of this quote "And he is an egotist in every thing—in gallantry, in conversation, in principle, and in heart." from The English Spy by Bernard Blackmantle! Nice to see an observational position, turn it into words - kudos :-)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Phill,

j.

[lightsong]

a true writer doesn't write of himself alone, nor for money, his mind must be free, his feelings too, must be aware to what's around him, reach his feelings out there into the world, write of others pains, reach his pen and heart into them, give a voice to those who have no voice... the message of a writer, a poet an artist is a fine message, a message that should add peace and beauty into a world of troubles, I'm not one of these poets, and I think each of my poems are another one just like me, but, I also believe that each has a role to do, and sometimes You write something others can relate to, or You add a new thing into the realm of poetry.

You are a true poet, I'm sure You are proud of Yourself, Your poem is a profound one, reaching into truths that we shouldn't lock our eyes to.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words on the poems and sharing your insights...truth is i can't take credit for what i write...i am more a conduit...the words come and i just write them down...i don't know where they come from most of the time...i feel lucky to get to do this.
j.

[MsJewel]

Wow Jacob - I'm not sure who this was written about, but you put them in their place with intelligence and class. Well done! :) Julie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Julie.
j.

[sette]

whew this is an amazing poem i like the line about the accountant and tax exempt makes me think of income tax month. just kidding. actually the poem tells me something that there needs to be said but cannot think of how to say it or even when to say it. this is only my own interpretation.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i appreciate your interpretation, sette...thank you for your words.
j.

[sette]

very much welcome

[Lydia Shutter]

WOW...this sounds like you are telling someone off, but doing so elegantly, Jacob! There are poets who write very emotionally, but have no clue how to relate one on one with another human being when they are face to face. Compassion is something too many people have forgotten about. I hope the person you had in mind while writing this sees her/himself in between the lines, but that is unlikely. One of your best, my friend. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi...
j.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This has just the right amount of 'punch on the face' feeling about it. Somehow, makes me realize what I have become lately.. especially 'alien to the grief of others', this hits hard. Such a powerful piece. ..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Yumna...

j.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome, Jacob :)

[R.E. Ray]

J., you surely know every reader knows "this person," perhaps in the Cafe or another place, who wanders around, smiling, begging for adoration and leaves abruptly without offering a compliment or thank you to the others, mere scattered furniture in a lowly cafe. So many great lines in this piece. One of my favorites from you. Good work, sir.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Robert.
j.

[Veronica Parker]

Like cookbooks, poetry is here to remind us of what is available... not what should be for dinner.

Great write

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh , i like your reply.....choices, choices, choices...
and then words, words, words.
thank you, Veronica..
j.