Orange Crush and Irrelevant Neighbors

Orange Crush and Irrelevant Neighbors

 

 

severed mountain

a cluster of small family trees

still intact

but wavering in a mournful wind

 

the flat lands flood tearfully

interstate, a barren road to nowhere

time is of the essence

but the scent is wafting amid borrowed hours

 

you are far away

and i am somewhere in a distant sunset

the shadows gaining fast

a heart breaking in increments

 

turning dusk to dust

dust to dusk

and the sun to agent orange.

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/27/18

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Family trees that were once full thin out over the years and the holidays that once were joyous occasions are turned into empty days filled only with memories. The last line made me think of the Vietnam war...far too many young people were killed and those who returned were never the same. Changes...they are not always for the better. This one conjured so many thoughts for me, Jacob. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, Lydi...
j.

[barleygirl]

This is so powerful, I had to read it twice, soaking in the poignant details that lightly paintbrush scattered remnants from a pile of regret. The last line really shocked me, tho. That's why I had to re-read, to find where that idea came from, where it goes, but it never really does fit. And that's the point (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Margie.
j.

[CD Campbell]

I felt that this was very powerful. A meandering journey into the unknown. The wavering leaves of loved ones that are bound to fall. The last three lines with the interchanging dusk to dust is a powerful image into a death colored sun. Man, it just kind of punches ya in the gut. CD

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, CD...
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Forlorn.
Title made me think of the old soft drink and another called "Truade."
Fortunately, I was able to avoid Agent Orange--though I realize your AO was a low-case metaphor.
This piece fills the reader with a philosophical futility born of the deep perception accompanying far-reaching vision.
Top-shelf work!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Jimmy.

j.

[Corset]

There is something about this that describes my current affairs perfectly, past, present and future. I just love Orange, but not just any orange, organdy like a sunset...purple runs a close second. I love all poems that turn my mind into these colors.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Corset.
j.

[duff]

You've created an emotional ladder that leads you somewhere inviting. I'm digging the title. A journey for the heart. Nice work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, duff.
j.

[duff]

Anytime jacob.

[Leslie Philibert]

A fine write that evokes both isolation, with a strong visuality, and a political kick in the last line. I like
all of Jacob`s poems, but this one is especially good !

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Leslie.
j.

[Chris]

Lincoln country - miles and miles of miles and miles... mountains a miraged nuance... it isn't that we really want so much - is it? Its we had that TASTE of "could be" and the echo stays and stays.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Chris.

j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Jacob. Your poem took me to Hwy 522 heading north through a tight valley to Berkley Springs West Virginia. The towns are spread out along the highway, no more than two streets deep. The shops are quaint and the area steeped in history. Good write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like that picture you drew for me of West Virginia...it is such a pretty state.
thank you, Ted.
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

i was somewhere on the mountain with you, weathering your sad heart, suddenly vietnam came into view. sorry i left in such a hurry.

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words and sharing how you related to this one, Al.
j.