Form vs Content

Form vs. Content

composed kisses

lips exposed to irony

passion reserved

the scent of you ignored

standing tall against reeling backwards

removal of heart

but vivid recall

of another,

chaotic impressions

stream of consciousness in silent tongues

improvisation of hands

fingers touching keys

caressing the skin of letters

we are poetry in motionless sync

i am inside your stanza

and we are hyphenated syllables

revised too many times

to suit

the ties too stiff to flow

i want to surmise the other poem

the old one

was worth writing

even if the theme is 

outdated---

and i will never write like that again. 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Awesome collection of loosely bundled observations and admittedly just a little ephemeral for my literal reading abilities, but I still love watching the way you string together the most fresh & original ideas as you plant universal themes in the reader's mind, soon to blossom into an array of interest! *smile* Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are such a kind reviewer, thank you, Margie.
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Jacob,

You are like a stream of originality floating into my mind and heart in joyous gratefulness.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind, Al...
thank you

j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“I am inside your stanza”- eloquent metaphoric assessment of a relationship of two people who are now only “hyphenated syllables”.. the form and the content of love re-created too many times. The poet remembers the first perfect draft- this poem is filled with pathos and perhaps regret..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Annette.
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Cleverly written Jacob reminded me of a song “ getting to know you!”lovely contrasting metaphors.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, andrew.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

i am reminded also of the "discussions" words vs music .. which should predominate ..
what a devastation of love "Form vs Content" is .. i feel as tho i remain in a state of crumbling holdings ..it is cruel you know :( and a glance back at the more spontaneous flexible movement together ... even more cruel ... i think this one is particularly good jacob ..very emotive ..great language and metaphors .. an edge better than your normal fantastic even :)
ouch!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, E.
j.

[Paul Bell]

This feels like a loveless marriage.
But the couple still go through the motions in public.
But it wasn't always like that.
Time back, there was love a kicking.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes there was...thank you, Paul.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Seems to be saying: and I will never love like that again.
Was the old love--the outdated love--worth experiencing?
My guess is, it was.
Uniquely perceptive poetry!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think it was, yes....thank you for your words, Jimmy.

[Jon Roggie]

I never try to find a pattern. You have always seemed to keep one. It has always had the touch of the romantic You still manage to shock me. I know you will again.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Jon.
j.

[Dionysian Gnostic]

This poem makes me think of verisimilitude and how repetition and time give things the illusion of being true. That ending felt like a nod of recognition that it isn't. More fine words from you appreciated.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review Dionysian...
j.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Two mused in love make the greatest collaboration.

Clever as always sir.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Dale,
j.