beginnings

beginnings

 

 

strange flakes.

snowy conceptions

of life in storage

about to be unlocked

 

december wilderness explored within

an oven of burnt memories

aroused again

but the blistering wind of present

bites the cheeks that house the tears

 

a log cabin built of longing

not for seclusion

but inclusion

 

incisions made on white skin

the dark lines of poetry

the moon glow illuminates

the scars, the new sores

allows us to write of healing

 

antiseptic vows

a penicillin to reject the monotonous

gloom, midnight drearies

and doomed theories of love

 

it is time to tongue 

the precipitation with moving fingers

drifts of chaos

to exhibit certain beauty

 

look at the blanket

that covers the fear of infection

and throw it off the bed of morning

 

belong to anyone, again

because it is written upon the future

in a snow angel's perspective

 

we can.

we will.

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/7/17

Reviews

[kitty]

Deep and meaningful. Virgin snow - footprints in the paths to new life! Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, kitty.
j.

[kitty]

Don't mention!

[Lydia Shutter]

Filled with hope for the future. We all want to belong to someone, don't we? The attitude here reminds me of "The Little Engine That Could"....so uplifting. We have to wipe the slate clean every now and then. Why not in December? Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi.
j.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Your beginnings and endings always bring me full circle under that winter moon. I had begun to think that this silence was eerie ....but now, i understand.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for that understanding, Queenie.
j.

[Alessander]

There's a lot to like here.

As always, you have a knack for phrasing, which is a gift

"december wilderness explored within

an oven of burnt memories"

"antiseptic vows

a penicillin to reject the monotonous

gloom, midnight drearies

and doomed theories of love"

Well, I can pretty much quote the whole thing, but those stood out.

Though my fav part was

"it is time to tongue

the precipitation with moving fingers"

I thought it was the strongest, and strangest lines which could possibly end the poem.

I'm not sure how married you are to the following stanzas:

look at the blanket

that covers the fear of infection

and throw it off the bed of morning



belong to anyone, again

because it is written upon the future

in a snow angel's perspective

I kinda feel you can cut those out.

A possible ending:

it is time to tongue

the precipitation with moving fingers

drifts of chaos

to exhibit certain beauty

We can
We will

---------

Just a thought. Either way, this is brimming with themes, symbolism and imagery

It has a vague tone of being both in a hospital or cabin, in snow and fire.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

appreciate the kind review and suggestions, and will take them into consideration...

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Evil is organized and in ascendancy; it goes by many names.
This aberration must be continually resisted and, eventually, greatly diminished. Human beings are incapable of totally destroying evil.
Exceptional work, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Jimmy...

j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

indeed more original metaphors in this hopeful piece Jacob. I guess winter allows us more time to focus as we retreat indoors?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, John.
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

I like this, j. Being a child of December this appeals to me. Old scars fade...replaced with new ones. Good write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, and relating, Ted.
j.

[.]

Aha! The companion piece to "Endings".

I certainly did get my previous review slightly askew. I can see now that Winter is your time of poetic rebirth. Such a nice contrast.

Excellent use of medical related terminology as metaphor. Describing with hope and anticipation the throwing off of shackles and embracing the stores of memory with a new perspective and diving straight into the task of filling the gloom with poetic wonders.

Excellent as always, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Doodley...
j.

[Chris]

Such perfect Hope in eyes seeing a "snow angel"... again.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Chris.
j.

[J. J. Nightingale]

Winter is coming.. did it ever leave..?
It used to be a time of celebration
there were no lines drawn in the snow
no standoffs .. no good byes
There was love..Once Upon A Time
At least we have our memories
And the sun still shines in Winter !
So there is HOPE after all...

we can we will ..............

Jazzy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Jazzy.
j.

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome jacob... :)..................