an Atheist's love affair

 

an Atheist’s love affair

 

i am a dangling modifier

with nothing left to modify

a verb with no conjugation

as a pastor with no congregation

 

my will is assigned to a nameless estate

a numb poem given away

by a posthumous heart

that still beats

but with complete insensitivity

caring was once the subject of my sentence

 

but now i am semantically slain

a coffined connoisseur of poetic religion

 

a theatrical theme kneeling in a pew

praying for redemption

but apathy

is like an arthritis 

that won't let me get up again

 

i saw you just before the pause

captured by your fragmented nature

thought i could edit you into a fool-proofed love 

 

but intentions are often misplaced

and now i am an adjective with no future

 

and you are a past participle

slandering me with your run-on declensions

 

making me your perfectly written heretic.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/22/17

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Many themes run through this j. ... grammatical or otherwise ... but the one thing that stands out is ... the Muse is back.
Even atheism is a religion that must follow certain rules most of which are based in religious concepts 'a pastor with no congregation' is still a pastor ... we all judge to one degree or another, we all make choices, but we cannot change another for the better, lest they become us.

Good write my friend, I quite like it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Ted...
j.

[light and ashes]

Love, so much. Brilliant. 100

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Light.

[light and ashes]

You're welcome

[Cassie]

This line though
(and you are a past participle; slandering me with your run-on declensions) you are always a good writer and I enjoy reading you

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you kindly, Cassie...you are always encouraging to me.

j.

[JackValor86]

"thought I could edit you into a fool proof love" nice. there's a number of dimensions to this poem, you pretty much have to read it more than once to absorb the whole thing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Jack.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

WOW, the metaphors here are amazing! Especially liked this one, "but apathy is like an arthritis
that won't let me get up again". Intentions are not always read as they were intended. Especially in electronic communication, words can be misconstrued. As always, a pleasure to read you. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi.
j.

[Irenic]

a theatrical theme kneeling in a pew
praying for redemption
but apathy
is like an arthritis
that won't let me get up again

i saw you just before the pause
captured by your fragmented nature
thought i could edit you into a fool-proofed love

but intentions are often misplaced
and now i am an adjective with no future

and you are a past participle
slandering me with your run-on declensions

making me your perfectly written heretic.

it is

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for reading, irenic.
j.

[Norman 223]

If semantic atheism means the rejection of hackneyed phrases and tweeting text , u got it in spades, Jacob.;-)
Most enjoyable and illuminating. Thankyou.
N.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Norman.
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Just what I need the kind of love affair where the heretic writes poetry at Writer's Cafe instead of having sex.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha ha.....thank you, Al.

j.

[rylesconroy]

Absolutely love this poem and the grammar. Along with the excelled vocabulary. One of my favorite poems on this website so far. Great Job!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, ryles.
j.

[Ashwin Shanker]

I only wish I knew Grammar rules as well you do!
Most of these verses just went over my head. But I absolutely Loved the Title....
Would like your permission to use only the title, but for a differently themed poem?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you Ashwin....titles are not copyrighted....

you are always able to use them--

j.