Autumn's escape

Autumn's escape

 

 

the insignificant other

dwells in a land of make-believe

of potent potables

of an inquiring mind

as to why the distance matters

or why the matter between is so distant

 

the insignificant other

surmises goodbye

before the note on the kitchen table is left

the finality of the turn of the key

sounds of leaving

 

a symphony of white noise

a fading into the sunset

a setting of our sun

 

i am the man in the moon

now,

watching others

still trying to shed light

 

on the turned leaves 

of us.

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/11/17

Reviews

[Ardra]

the insignificant other
dwells in a land of make-believe
of potent potables
of an inquiring mind
as to why the distance matters
or why the matter between is so distant

insignificant other.. and the way you have explained it is worth reading again and again ... :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you , Galadriel.
j.

[duff]

I think it's quite clever how you gave the seasons character and you create a romance that rips through the soul with rapid departure. Vibrant beauty that radiates our hearts one day and abandons them tomorrow. I like the title as well. Therapeutic reading and sophisticated writing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, duff...
j.

[duff]

You're very welcome jacob.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Sad with a sense of longing and wistfulness. May we all burn in beauty like the colors of autumn before the drab gray of barren winter days sets in. I enjoyed the read. F.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Fabian.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Such a sad write, Jacob. A love lost, a relationship ended....just as Autumn will leave and Winter will take over. The term "insignificant other" is fantastic. How do people who love each other end up this way? Only the man on the moon knows for sure. Great one. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Lydi.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Parting, with a loved one, is always more sorrow than sweet
You hit all the right notes, here--sour though they may be.
Ever the observant poet, Jacob, you are the man in the moon, watching.
Work of a high order!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Jimmy.
j.

[MomzillaNC]

The cruelty of distance put between people renders us all the “insignificant other.” I’ve always said distance doesn’t make the heart grow fonder – it makes it forget. It’s a kind of tyranny, isn’t it… Thinking you’ve found significance in someone’s life, only to find that distance, either physical or emotional, leaves you wondering how you became insignificant… how the leaves fell… the page turned and ways a parted?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love your insights, Momzilla..
thanks for your words...
j.

[MomzillaNC]

You’re welcome.

[Chris]

I've watched the "leaves"
turning through autumns' colors
yours, mine, unfolding others -
and sunlight's reflections still draw
and hold
age-less whispers
of wishes and dreams.

You "draw" the best of us Jacob - a true man-of-letters.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind, Chris.
thank you,
j.

[Chris]

Be safe... laters

[marilyn 1225]

I LIKE THE POEM, AND THE POWERFUL ENDING... YOU DRAW A PICTURE OF SOMEONE WHO IS ANTICIPATING THE FALL BEFORE IT HAPPENS THE LETTER MAY NOT HAVE BEEN WRITTEN YET...
NOT SURE WHY SHE IS INSIGNIFICANT? THE MAKE BELIEVE WORLD IS AT TIMES LIKE THE ROOMS IN POE'S CASK OF THE RED DEATH, THE REVELERS LIVING IN THEIR UNREAL WORLD , TRYING SO HARD TO ESCAPE THE INEVITABLE REALITY... JUST RAMBLING GREAT POEM!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

interesting perspective...the speaker is feeling insignificant...but in ways with each other, they both are.
thank you for your words, marilyn....

j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed the Autumn of our lives often sees sad reflections as we feel we have become less significant and redundant, even less attractive, useful and loved. Indeed full of regret and disappointment.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, John.
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Bittersweet and angry. The “Insignificant other”-diminished by poetic justice.Brilliant word-play throughout the first verse. Third verse imagery compelling. Sad soliloquy for the “man in the moon”. He deserved better. Excellent write j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Annette

j.