Room Service

Room Service

there are riffs in the carpet

the shag is stained and dripping

red from a perfectly halcyon ceiling

the beat goes on

but the drum beats

become rapid percussion

and the guitar starts to sound out of tune

then a mum expression

before cowboy boots retreating

nearby planes accelerate

like the bodies falling

or scaling walls

this will never become a live album

the screaming fans within the vinyl grooves

would definitely cause the CD to skip

and skip

and skip

the maid waiting to clean the room

as heaven waits 

tapping its feet.

erin-cilberto

10/4/17

Reviews

[Relic]

.................Super powerful Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you Tim........

[Einstein Noodle]

wow! poignant ... i am taken by the emotions drawn out for me ... lots of great lines and contrasts and your sense of irony and sarcasm are spot on ...i think this one should be in print ... i would say in newspapers but we don't much have them anymore do we?! .. nice work with this tragedy sir! i think it helps :(
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, E.
j.

[Carol Cashes]

"the maid waiting to clean the room

as heaven waits
tapping its feet."

I don't think Heaven was waitin' on this dude, but the piece in its entirety is stark and almost obscenely eloquent in contrast. Well done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Carol...
j.

[AYVID N]

So vivid and clear and so haunting. Your words bring back all those eerie sounds and remind us of the barbarity of the senseless act.

the maid waiting to clean the room

as heaven waits
tapping its feet.

Heaven absorbs all those it can. The rest are cast away into unknown slots. The maid wipes away the blood. Life goes on.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, DIVYA.
j.

[Corset]

Horrendous is the word that comes to mind, the poem however is excellent. I'm just not convinced, it feels like a fabrication, a cover up to me, to prevent panic and I told you so's and open bird season. I keep seeing a room with a frightened man on his knees while several men take over a room with a perfect view.
how did one man get ten rifles past security?
After the last concert , one would think security would have been as in penetrable as a Chasity belt on a Nun. Just sayin'

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, Corset, that is a thought, for sure...what a scary thought
j.

[KWP]

the visuals are real Jacob - you have painted it so well.
It's funny, and it sounds rather terrible of me, but this incident, my reaction was somewhat blaźe. Why? because I have seen it all before perhaps?

Sympathy starts to run dry when exactly nothing is ever done to reel in America's gun laws.... but yes, people want the right to bare arms ... now that's a top priority ...

America used to be great - I wonder if it will ever re-emerge from the chaotic mess it is in now?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, we do have really bad problems...that is for sure.

thank you for your words, KWP...
j.

[Bacchus]

And the beat goes on.
Sounds so familiar.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, over and over, and i wish they would refrain from ever giving the name of the perpetrator....no 15 minutes of fame.
thank you, Bacchus.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Of the many portrayals regarding this outrage I've read, this piece summed it up best.
Stunning poetry!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Jimmy.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

The world is imploding and we are left with nothing but our words to deal with it. Horrific is not a strong enough word....how can something like this happen? People enjoying an evening of music...trying to escape their every day problems....only to have to run for their lives. Strong write, Jacob. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, the innocents who died---for what? some statement?

thank you, Lydi, for your words,
j.

[Paul Bell]

Probably find the poor hotel porter got a five dollar tip for carrying the weapons up to the room.
What the hell is going on in the world?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

hard to tell these days...thank you, Paul.
j.