1969---the War Within

1969---the War Within

 

 

how many cliffs did you almost master

but the earth slipped out from under your feet

and the fall almost killed you

before the drugs could

 

how many suns did you crash into

with scathing dreams of white powder

and waves of psychedelic splashes

making music against the shoreline

 

are you still away from yourself?

am i the finger on your trigger hand

will you hold the gun steady against my head?

should i write the note?

or is your cursive planning 

to outlive your heart

 

and leave us a screenplay 

of the life you almost survived.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/1/17

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

The war within is fought on a daily basis and often through many years. There is no detente reached and no amount of diplomatic verbiage can stop the fighting. In 1969 there were wars that we THOUGHT were won, but they continue today...perpetuated through generations. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, they do continue...thank you for your insights, Lydi...
j.

[Tom]

More often than not, the war within is a much more difficult adversary to conquer than any outdoor material foe?

Stark and thought provoking Jacob, and as always, masterful penmanship!

https://youtu.be/hRJFvtvTGEk

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Tom...

j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Suicide attempt. Controversial and relevant. Your poem asks important questions in three brilliant verses and a wistful , contemplative denouement. Microcosm of the drugs and wars of the 60s & 70s, leading to the literal &/or figurative death of the protagonist. Master Class once again.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

not really intended suicide...but just a lifestyle that seems to scream it...i appreciate your insights and kind words, Annette.
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

You have a collection of lines that are brilliant as the attempted suicide follows its line.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Al.
j.

[AYVID N]

"how many suns did you crash into
with scathing dreams of white powder
and waves of psychedelic splashes
making music against the shoreline"

Awesome lines so apt for the time...

A couple of years before I was born but having read and heard so much about the flowery, hip sixties, it feels familiar. The hippy movement along with the Beatles had reached my shores too as had the drugs. It was indeed a reckless time, life lived a psychedelic day, at a time yet a time of great creativity and spirituality. A lot of our Ad World gurus, business magnates and movie stars bloomed in that era.

Yet a life almost survived for some who made it out of the haze, but barely so...

Thanks for such an interesting read sir.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, DIVYA.
j.

[Aaron Flood]

Great imagery and a nice roving tale... almost epic in nature of a traveler's pitfalls along drugs nasty deforming journey. I'm very familiar with this realm and have reaped rewards an curses from it. Awsome!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing how you relate, Aaron.
appreciate your visit.
j.

[emmajoy]

Days past that shaped or perhaps, mis-shaped. a generation; or maybe, the other way around? Was this the aftermath of a historically questionable war or the need to escape from it? Have read your poem twice over.. Rarely do this but read a review.. Fabian's.. because seems he understands the emotion behind your words.

Reading for a third time, am wondering if you're thinking of that movie. Seems with yet more thinking on my part, your words stress a mind- debiliting procedure that could and maybe did end in tragedy... wipe.out.. Perhaps a need to destroy memories, because they can't be denied.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

actually i hadn't seen that movie...but i do like your interpretation very much...

thank you for the extra reads and your words,
j.

[J. J. Nightingale]

And the ones who did survive
live inside a tangled mind..
reliving death
and not resting
in PEACE..

Good ONE !!

J.J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Jazzy---

j.

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome jacob........................J.J.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I remember the "other" war. I was mailing autumn leaves to my brother in Vietnam. He complained about the lack of trees in Da Nang and I wanted him to have a piece of home. The other soldiers were envious. He was a medic; a sergeant in rank and there used to be a poster of him with two wounded Vietnamese children under his care. He came home to have people spit on him and call him "baby killer". It was a messed up world then in more ways than one and not much has changed since. I loved the movie 1969 with Kiefer Sutherland and Winona Ryder. It came out in 1988 and got lousy reviews from most critics but rang a bit truer to me than most I guess. I remember Woodstock too...crazy hippies my dad called them. But there were lots of internal wars going on in America some of culminating on May 4, 1970 at Kent State when the National Guard shot 13 people killing four...people have forgotten or have no idea how serious protesting can be or can become...I feel there may be a new rude awakening for some of them one day soon. Good read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i remember Kent State...we had riots at SIU, and the school had to close early for the spring semester---i was a sophomore here...lots of crazy things...my ex wife lived very near Yasgur's Farm...but chose not to go..
so much happening...lots good, lots bad....thanks for sharing your experience and insight, Fabian.
j.

[S. Elizabeth]

This is beautifully written - one of my favorite pieces I have read so far

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, S. Elizabeth, appreciate your kind words.
j.