this is no Mamas and Papas' song

this is no Mamas and Papas' song

 

 

Detroit's become Charlottesville

dancing in the street,

white hoods and skinned breath

tar and feathered values

 

awkward beaks of darkness

the moon is ashamed

blood is the chalk for the no passing lines

 

painted flesh

knife like tongues

slice hearts,

 

lying in cold dormitories

they never wake up

 

and one city looks like another

when two people don't

 

summer's here 

with

 

strange partners

observed at the curb

 

of ruin.

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/12/17

Reviews

[Priyanshi]

wow..don't feel like stop reading... like go and go on reading, i'm saying to myself...wonderful poem

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind remarks, Priyanshi...

j.

[Priyanshi]

my pleasure.

[Ken Simm.]

Tar and feathered thinking. You would think people would learn but instead they learn to hate. And dress their children with the badges and robes of hate and intolerance. And so it goes on.
You speak to it so well Jacob. But I wish you didn't have to.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I wish the same, Ken...I wish the same.
thank you for your words,
j.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Even in my spec of a town I walk rigid and think past every stranger...will they be the one...because my hair is curly or my cheek bones high or my walk too swaying..the grocery store holds danger, the post office terror, I don't enter the bank, thank goodness...the atm oddly seems safer..Our people have run amuck and they are OURS and we as a society have let them scare us into a zombie submission. Sad thoughts...great poetry

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing these thoughts, Queenie....but it is also scary to know how today's society is such a concern...
j.

[Paul Bell]

When the big guy doesn't condone it. It sort of speaks volumes to the white hood brigade.
This isn't just an American problem. It's worldwide.
You can feel the shift of distrust and hatred all around the world now.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and it is very sad and scary.
thank you, Paul.
j.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Firstly, I love the scaling down from beginning to end of the stanza lengths; it demonstrates the emotions of the reader, slowing reducing on - to being left speechless! Secondly, the subject matter is a timeless struggle which should not be forgotten – the fall has a lot to answer for … :-)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Phil...
j.

[Norman 223]

A sobering and cleverly painted image here, Jacob,portrayed in your inimitable way.
Sadly, history and prejudice have a habit of rising from the ashes.
N.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, they do, Norman---
thank you for your kind words,
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Again, again, Blood in the streets. This is an incredible poem-so brilliant and powerful and profound..."one city looks like another when two people don't- amazing line. The country is more and more divided. "Summer's here and the time is right" - for "ruin". ..sad. Beyond Master-Class my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we have come so far, yet not far at all....and it is saddening and maddening...

thank you, Annette.

j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

You are very welcome j.

[Jon Roggie]

Speaking from memory,
images held from the past.
Look past the bitter ruin,
lest it be our last.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, yes Jon....thank you for your insightful words..
j.

[Jon Roggie]

I got carried away.

[alanwgraham]

A spare and chilling description of street life in our cities with the battle lines drawn up. Your poetic depiction of the wars fought close to home with the grim consequences is brilliant.
Well done.
Regards,
Alan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Alan.
j.

[AYVID N]

awkward beaks of darkness
the moon is ashamed
blood is the chalk for the no passing lines
I read about the Charlottesville deaths today and felt very sad. The lines of the poem paint a vivid story of hate and conflict. A city lying in cold ruins, certainly no Mama's and Papa's song. Appreciated so much...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, DIVYA.
j.