tried to, but in the end

tried to, but in the end...

 

 

tired of writing sad songs

i want to compose a smile

but i am lost in the aisle

of retention

and it is a detention

of my heart

deflections

of positive reflections

and smiles turned upside down

don't reverse

when conversely

 

there is no happy, sappy motive

behind the emotive pen

of the poet crashing

 

as his short spun high

unravels his emotions

like a yarn expressed

in Aesop's eye.

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/8/17

Reviews

[barleygirl]

AWESOME WORD WEAVING! Each line brings a little surprise as the reader takes in both the well-crafted sounds & meaning. I thought for a minute you were going to write a happy poem, but the honesty of this definitely buys you another five hundred sad songs! (((HUGS)))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and you will probably get 500 more...damn that elusive happy write...thank you for your kind review, barleygirl...

j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Love this Jacob
It's really beautiful

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Julie.
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

The first few lines remind me of catholic school and no way of getting out.

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you Al....ah it is a little like that , isn't it?

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

But sister........you just spanked me yesterday!

[J. J. Nightingale]

Write Happy Songs.................

Thought-Full


JAZZY

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Jazzy.....
j.

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome jacob, sorry to be so brief... the words won't come............J.J.

[Ayvid N]

A poet's moods are so fleeting but that must not keep him from expressing the innumerable facets of the infinite beauty in his soul, especially when he is gifted with a pen as brilliant as yours Mr. Jacob...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind, DIVYA.....

thank you for your kind review.
j.

[Ayvid N]

You are most welcome sir!

[h d e rushin]

most fables have uncertain endings....I like poetic endings that are spun from truth and constant hand ringing.....Love this poem brother.....dana

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, dana....appreciate you.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Deleted my previous review.
It was stupid and unintentionally insulting.
Love your work!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Jimmy----although i really hadn't found it insulting at all...but thanks.
j.

[Ruth]

*Inhales a deep breath" then attempts to write a review worthy but in reality no review is because your writing is astonishing and leaves me stunned :) What a piece Jacob, you weave incredible art :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind, Poppy....
thank you,
j.

[Ken Simm.]

Why the poet wrote the sad poem he didn't want to. Or the fable of the creative man.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks for your words, Ken.
j.

[Poetic Beauty]

Sometimes our muses are drawn to the sadder things. Many times I would like to write a happy in your face smile piece but alas that is not what my muse screams lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yours and mine both, Poetic Beauty...

thank you for your words,
j.