Apparition's Crimson Suggestion

Apparition's Crimson Suggestion

you were my moonshine garden

on a late May afternoon

the aisle of you drank in my countenance

i stuttered along the path of least resistance

seeds of longing sown with certain accession

kissed you by our reflection on the lake

just before i woke in your bed of roses

bleeding from thorns of naivety

petals doing the dead man's float

in waves curling around my heart

as i came to

and you waved goodbye

just as new flowers broke ground.

erin-cilberto

6/8/17

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Love your work it's very beautiful

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Julie...
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Lovely, lilting,"crimson and clover" interlude between lovers..."you were my moonshine garden......the aisle of you drank in my countenance". Passionate with beautiful imagery and metaphor use. Exquisite poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Annette,
j.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

A hint of the bitterness of romance gone wrong seasoned with a pleasant whiff of the fragranced promise of sweeter romance anew ... Life being what it is and all ... As Forrest Gump's momma said, "Life is like a box of chocolates ... Personally, I found some of those candy looking delights to be true to life turds ... Very insightful ...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

your review is insightful, my friend...

yes, some of those chocolates we should just leave in the box...

j.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn's Dark Tales & More Store]

Yep, you are right, cause ain't nothin' more disgusting than to learn you have planted your mouth on a t**d ... LOL!

[Einstein Noodle]

"petals doing the dead man's float" ...powerful turn ..the font gives it just that bit of boost to cause me to read it as an aside ... the last line so sadly punctuates the bleeding ..ouch says i ..ouchy ouch ouch!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, E.
j.

[emmajoy]

Seems in this relationship's drifting gentleness, you were led into a place which meant so much, then - left wondering how, what, why you were alone after being enticed then, seemingly, played with. You use language so beautifully, ' .. you were my moonshine garden on a late May afternoon. '

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, emma..

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Only you Jacob could write something this devastatingly beautiful. Like you, I visit the ghosts too, but could never write something that astounds the mind and soul.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Al.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Is the thrill of romance worth the devastation of abandonment?
Better to have loved?--I guess so, though resulting pain and disillusionment can last a lifetime.
Gorgeous poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Jimmy.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A sadness permeates this for me Jacob. The protagonist seems to go on a journey, perhaps a drinking spree and when he sees the light it is all too late as his love has left him. Full of emotion.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, John.
j.

[Arjun Singh]

Every paragraph was really 'dreamy' and lovely..
The expression 'bleeding from thorns of naivety' was, well, Amazing!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Arjun.

j.