the insects' perspective

the insects' perspective

 

 

the condescending stars

hang too closely

in a sky of black comedy

 

our lights dim in expression

the world is a meteor out of control

hurtling toward an earth of poetry

 

can you find me under your moon?

mine's only a quarter,

a slice of pertinent meaning

 

and the flicker is quite far away

light years of understanding

burning out with the heat of words

 

a galaxy of writing

looking down

at worker ants with pens

 

trying not to vaporize

from the intensity

i feel near you.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

6/1/17

Reviews

[redzone]

you know when I read you Jacob I travel to many different places (and sometimes all at once too) but in this poem I am focused, well I think anyway, and one, your writing is more than a "slice" of pertinence, but speaks loudly in a night filled with black comedy... as ants with pens, we are stronger than any out of control meteor... and if the saying "the pen is mighty", then let our words be the swords that chop off the head of all condescendence...

or to put it this way, write on Jacob, we feel your intensity and light!!

redzone... now where the hell is my map, I got lost some where and need direction... ;0)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind to me in your reviews, Curt...

thank you,
j.

[redzone]

it's your fault Jacob, if you didn't write so damn good I could throw some tomatoes lol...

[Sheila Kline]

The lowly ant, the assigned worker by those who reign above it seeks affirmation that its deeds are noticed, and at times the "heat is on" to work faster, harder, with a greater intensity so that the ruler may gain more in their sky of black comedy.

It may seem that the ruler holds control, but only until the worker gains enough courage, power, collaboration with those who have a like mind to enable it to join a group of others to put the ruler in its place. Then the ant brings the colony to speak.

As poets we have a duty to write to inform others of the world as we see it, and to use our talent to say it the way it is. The worker is important, the ruler is important, but just who shall win in the end?

I suppose if the worker ant ends up in a sticky trap then it's caught, and no amount of wiggling will enable it to gain freedom. So, we as workers must be cautious as to which trail we follow as those that promise the galaxy might take one into a black hole instead...........

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love your insights, thank you for this review, Sheila...
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

We, the " Worker Ant" 99%, scurrying around trying not to be overwhelmed or stepped on....excellent analogy and metaphor! The Greats look down on us. Beautifully crafted and worded with eloquence. We are but dust motes in the Grand Plan...Can someone say "Dust in the Wind"?? Represent! Love this!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ah, Kansas--"all we are is dust in the wind"
"i close my eyes, only for a moment, then the moment's gone"
but we do leave our labors after that...don't we?
we do what we can...
thank you, Annette...
appreciate your words,
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

You are very welcome j. It is a pleasure and honor to read your work my friend.

[barleygirl]

Love! Love! Love! This poem seems to have even more of a light & playful touch, as compared to your others that I've read. I love the way your dynamic verb choices make this literally BUZZ! *smile* (((HUGS)))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barleygirl.
j.

[Paul]

An interesting metaphor on life as a writer. In my perspective anyway. You certainly have a wonderful way with words, my friend. I enjoyed this.

Paul

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Paul.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

hmmmmmmmmm i feel a wistful meloncholy ...the old and wise dull and fade ...but i really love your closing ... as your protagonist has arrived at a place of intense inspiration ... at least that's my take ...i suppose it could be hell doing the vaporizing as well ;) scary :O
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, E.
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Here in my house the insects are crushed under the giant's foot. It's my contribution to totalitarianism.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the smile, Al...
that giant's foot...
j.

[emmajoy]

'.. the world is a meteor out of control # hurtling toward an earth of poetry.. '

You raise the bar when it comes to metaphors, seems they proliferate through every pore!

Seen from the view of the ants on the street perhaps, staring up at the so-called 'wheelers and dealers' whose words are empty of beauty? Perhaps.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, emma.
j.

[andrew mitchell]

In this universe we are all but insects maybe smaller but with minds bigger than the pen we think.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, all worker ants, with just a few bigger ones running the colony and getting rich.

[andrew mitchell]

exactly, nice concise writing as always j and i loved the title

[Jimmy Yetts]

Actually, a more god-like perspective; big picture stuff. Could be, I suppose, the view of a very intelligent insect. (Like man, perhaps.)
The brilliant metaphors are surprisingly fresh and often provide deep insight.
All in all, an intricate portrait of a brooding True Romantic.
Almost heroic.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words...
j.