old tenants revising love's essay

old tenants revising love's essay

subletting the acrimonious past

conjunctions

led to fragments of semantically declining hearts

but now interrogatively composed imperatives

command our attention,

we declare notice,

eyes connect in moon dance

under electric light, in the frozen food aisle

past feelings,                                                              eclipsed,

                                     thaw a once felt intensity

questions arise in the sensibility

of meeting again,

of reconstructing

the run-on of you

that never really ended

for a closer perusal

of how to punctuate

us.

erin-cilberto

5/26/17

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Very imaginative! Love the blend of everyday life observations with cleverly-stated writing concerns. I used to know a few run-on sentences, but with my short attention span these days, the longwinded ones have moved on! *smile* (((HUGS)))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your response, barleygirl...gave me a smile.

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Fiendishly clever, yet profoundly meaningful.
Don't know how you manage to consistently create such metaphorical masterpieces.
Guess you're far more gifted than either of us is willing to admit.
Kudos, Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Jimmy...
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Mixed metaphors depicting perhaps the mixed up emotions of meeting someone from your past for whom feelings still exist jacob? Whatever, this provides much food for thought.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love your perspective, John...thank you for your perceptive words,
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

A linguistic and semantic feast! Jacob you are a Goliath of Grammar and a Master Wordsmith. Every word, every line profoundly perfect and evocative of the intricate thought-dance and imagery that flows. "Eyes connect in moon dance under electric lights, in the frozen food aisle".."reconstructing the run-on of you"- Who thinks like this??- Only you do! Lucky for us and thank you!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are so kind with your review---thank you, Annette...

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes ...lessons in grammar ;) we can all use it eh!? there are so many things i like about this one ..it tweeks the brain into thinking and the heart and spirit to feelings and inspirations ..had to chuckle a little over the run on verse .. though there is a lot past pains and present regrets expressed ..a fine read for me sir ..but your poetry always is
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, E.
j.