cuts, bruises, and the thesaurus blade

 

cuts, bruises, and the thesaurus blade

 

 

 

sharp lines,

by pen or tongue

abrasive verbiage

abuses a heart in limbo

 

to leave or stay within stanzas

to scan or carefully read

with tenacious eyes

or listen with tarnished ears

 

sharp lines

cut,

some like the bleeding

live for the pools of blood

take a dive between the lines

 

sharp lines

the red lines

sleepless emphasis

against articulate adjunct writer

the one who means it.

 

but the others,

just sharp lines

with meaningless edge

dulled incentive

to write,

luscious speech

center of attention 

 

you remember,

with a slight rain of doubt

maybe disdain

 

sharp lines

dulled image

once the voice is silent

there is no artifact

 

in fact,

there is nobody

the words were all bled out

part-time

but enough to have meant something

once.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/15/17

Reviews

[rowan.taylorrr]

i love the wording used in this. this is absolutely amazing, keep working!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, xoxo,
j.

[h d e rushin]

I am currently reading Sexton's autobiography
(again) is this poem is exactly the example of her
poetic equasions. Plath seemed to use her thesaurus to conquer the challenges of meaning like no one in history and no one since..Yet there is still great order and meaning in what she wrote.....I read the poems I wrote 20 years ago and they had very little relevance to the person writing this in May of 2017....but they once did../so meanings can and will change...

again you have us thinking outloud....dana

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really love your reply...especially referring to my two subjects for my masters thesis...they both fascinate me.
your writing fascinates me as well, dana.

thank you for that.
j.

[William Gardner]

Theres always somebody my friend, and every syllable is an artifact of your life. You mean something, and you meant to. Best, William.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, William.
j.

[Jon Roggie]

You can feel when words are spoken with true emotion.
Clever use of vocabulary only hides so much.
The simplest words often live.

I liked this one.
Jon

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful words and thoughts my friend Jacob.
"in fact,
there is nobody
the words were all bled out
part-time
but enough to have meant something
once."
I loved the above lines. I could write a epic poem from. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Coyote...
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.

[andrew mitchell]

A write definitely to ponder on, lots of facets like a rubik's cube here J, a different meaning, a different turn. I felt frustration in pursuit of the perfect poem initially, then the old saying came to mind of sticks and stones but this time words do hurt. Then the latter suggested an all huff n puff scenario but with no guts, or.... all that rage channelled to write a poem which became unfinished, simmered to nothing, once the rage died down, the ideas lost when one went back, maybe like a car running out of petrol.. This is definitely a scratchy! Lovely write!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review,andrew...

j.

[SJ Mullins]

This poem actually reminds me a lot of the way I write. Not the form itself, but the words. I can't quite convey what I am trying to say. Our styles are nothing alike, and that is not what I mean. I mean these particular words often describe me as a writer. I am multifaceted in that regard. Many times, I write from sheer emotion because I am upset with someone who has hurt me or a situation i feel I have no control over. My words may be sharp. Other times, I write for sheer entertainment. Most of the time, when I write, it is for my on personal self, but it is always nice when someone else either can relate or simply likes it. I, too, read it twice, as I often do your poetry. I glean everything I can from it. I have often told my children that sometimes poetry goes over my head. My daughter told me that poetry is something that is open to the individual, and one person may not get from it what another does. I hope she's right because then I don't feel so ignorant. This piece makes me want to go back through everything I have written and edit it carefully to make it all the best it can be. Emma's review was spot on in what I am basically trying to say. I am a writer, for Pete's sake, and cannot seem to articulate what I am trying to say. :P Regardless, Jacob, incredible as usual!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

your daughter is absolutely right....that is what poetry is...it means something different to each individual who reads it....there are no right or wrong interpretations...and hopefully those who write it don't expect the readers to get some exact "it."
otherwise it kills the genre...
sometimes as poets we cannot articulate the exact feelings that we have....we can only come close.
thank you, Suzanna.
j.

[SJ Mullins]

You're welcome, but it is I who should be thanking you. :)

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

This is a stellar piece of work. Laud the power of words-the artifacts- beware the silencing of ideas in any form, whether externally or self-imposed. Yes,"Sharp lines cut"-and the blood they draw means that life unquestionably exists... Absolutely Master-Class!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Annette...
j.

[Tom]

True indeed, sometimes those that talk most, say the least !

A well articulated and profound piece of writing Jacob that any budding writer would do well to ingest!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Tom,
j.

[emmajoy]

Have read this twice, trying to decide: is this of the writer or what the writer reads from others? Will consider from both directions.
Tis everyone's need to finish a poem, story or book, whatever.. and feel that the mind and heart have created something good, fine, better. Think though that there are times when - try as one might, something's missing or weaker than should be. Start again, replenish, dilute, enlarge. Leave alone. Hope. Hope that someone will find kind words, if only helpful.
Reading another's work.. knowing for most, that there have been battles involved, juggling done, sweaty brows and frustrated searches Perhaps.
Does one twist a critical blade or - understand how it might feel.
Yes, assurance, from someone is grand. But surely we want to satisfy, please, delight selves, somehow. Our need is to create something worthy, if only once - leave something behind that means more than.. .
Again, written far too much but can't see the point in reading, thinking, then, leaving a mere sentence.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like both directions from which you took this, emma....thank you so much for your insights.
j.