the digital perplexity of our unfunny sitcom

the digital perplexity of our unfunny sitcom

 

 

deleted scenes,

our bed freshly made,

unused,

turning stale as our words for each other

 

the hardness, like over aged bread

moldy kisses on air brushed cheeks

 

the real us somehow lost in the process

but we can't air brush the emotions enough

 

the complexion has lost its smoothness

and the rough skin of complications

and cold ointments

evaporated the love a long time ago

 

we think of each other from a distance

even when in the same room

blankly staring at high definition TV

 

while our lives have become 

an out of focus outcome

from which we cannot change the channel.

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/5/17

Reviews

[Alfred Kukitz]

It sounds like you need a Pulitzer Prize winning novel to live inside. Maybe a trip to the book store?

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

if only i had the attention span to write a novel...but alas...i don't....:)))

thank you for your words, my friend.

[Jimmy Yetts]

That's the trouble with real "reality shows." Both the story line and the ending are distressingly unpredictable--awards rarely presented.
Too many of us are trapped in uninspired rehearsals; never seeing opening night.
(Sorry I got away from product descriptions; after over 65 years of TV watching, I'm truly sick of commercials.)
Another great piece of work, Jacob.
Very smart and incisive.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, me too, on the commercials...

thank you for your kind review, Jimmy.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

"moldy kisses on air brushed cheeks"....an amazing line in a poem that packs a punch, Jacob. Some people stay together just because it is easier than taking any action to be apart. Complications....no, the sort you speak of will not be assuaged by any ointment at a CVS for sure. Slice of life...albeit sad life....poetry. Wonderful! Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi.
j.

[Paul Bell]

You summed it up. The digital age. People actually text each in the same house. Don't know how many times some idiot glued to a mobile has walked onto the road totally oblivious, till you brake, sound the horn, or just run them down.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so true, Paul...see it all the time...couples at restaurants...not even speaking to each other---just sitting there on their cell phones...what a day and age we are in....

thank you
j.

[Paul Bell]

Just wait till the robots take over.

[barleygirl]

This feels like a clinical autopsy of a relationship! I get the sensations of separation & distance & almost cold-hearted examination. Your metaphors are more "out there" than usual . . . I especially love the moldy bread comparisons!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, my friend.
j.

[Gee]

Brings to mind couples dining together with not one word uttered, and when plates not to their fronts eyes averted. Body language saying "anywhere but here "
Morning Jacob hope Donald is treating you well and the Mexicans, women, Koreans, Russians, Muslims.....and on and on and on....are all back on side

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ugh, Donald...thank you for your words on the poem...
j.

[Rassoul]

we think of each other from a distance
even when in the same room

I really liked this one!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Rassoul...
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

'After the love has gone' told in pure metaphor Jacob. You capture emotion and convey sentiment so well. The opening stanza really sets the scene as the sheets remain undisturbed. Stale bread and mouldy kisses says it so well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ooo those moldy kisses..thank you, John.

[SJ Mullins]

I can so relate. It is quite sad when relationships become complacent. Very sad, but very well written. You have such a way with words. So wish I had paid more attention in English when I was in school!!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Suzanna...
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

this poem is a scathing and quietly desperate commentary about the superficiality of modern relationships. Misplaced priorities. " We can't airbrush the emotions enough". True and indicting.
Stellar.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Annette.
j.