Unexpected You

Unexpected You


trifle tears

she was worth an ocean

but i had only a river to give

i was cried out,

seaweed blues

all that was left to play

my guitar warped from the saturation

of the first cloud

now my sky passes them on

one after another,

without much pause

a puddle of remorse

then a blink

only you could refill the quarry

with your allure

if i may capture your smile

and hold it in my hands

like a slippery fish...



erin-cilberto
5/2/17

Reviews

[barleygirl]

"Unexpected You" is a good way to describe Jacob the poet, with your startlingly fresh expressions coming in a steady flow! Loved many of the "wet" and "warped" and "puddle" references that lead logically to the very original slippery fish ending (((HUGS)))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, barleygirl...

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

I was thinking rain man until you showed up with the fish. Nice job!

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Al.
j.

[emmajoy]

' ..i was cried out, ~ seaweed blues ~ all that was left to play .. '

I'd say that un-expectation touches on excess here.. and, so finely put! Seems what frequently calls can as easily slip away, leaving a desire that's almost mesmerising. Perhaps?! You write in tongues, Jacob.. .. the teacher shows, as does the man.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, emma.
j.

[pia]

'trifle tears
she was worth an ocean
but i had only a river to give' this already grasped my attention when i started reading. sometimes you just cant give it your all to someone who deserves a lot more.
'if i may capture your smile
and hold it in my hands
like a slippery fish...'
again you ended the poem with a strong stanza. i loved the poem. it delivers the essence its supposed to give out. amazing!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, pia.
j.

[MsJewel]

Beautiful and sad, I love the little bit of hope at the end. You never cease to amaze me with your talent Jacob. This is lovely. :) Julie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you never cease to amaze me with your kind heart, Julie.

thank you
j.

[Surya]

It's lovely with a mixture of emotions...I liked it...:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Surya...
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ah illusive love. I guess we do harden after the abject pain of having love spear us with its deceit for the first time. After that we grow immunity the more it happens yet we who seek can still fall. Another I can relate to here Jacob. One of my favourite songs would go with it: 'Cry Me A River' by Julie London.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, John...and yes, Good Song.
j.

[William Gardner]

So wet! That poem dripped water- artful, fun and painful that's your motif no? well done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, William.
j.

[Larq]

tragic and romantic...you have my emotions all over the place this afternoon! Love it! Imagery at the end made me smile! On plan time now...I'd say I am using my time wisely. ;)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Larq...
j.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I'm gonna make this all about me today😁it's just what I needed,ty!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Queenie.
j.