Model

Model

 

 

 

i painted a portrait of you
                in my mind,
but when the poet side of me
tried to write you down with indelible ink

            the pen refused to be my brush.

the frame hung empty
on my wall of frustration,

i would have asked you to sit for me once again
but you were surrounded by new walls,

your heart had long abandoned 
                      this home

 

after all

you were only renting,

 

and if you had nailed my poems on your wall

you might not get your deposit back.

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/26/17

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Great read. Well-written diatribe. Unrequited love leaves bitterness in the mouth and in the heart. Stellar comeback with "rented" heart. Quid pro quo!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Annette--

j.

[ashish hajagulkar]

our heart is just for sharing love and spreading happiness .! i enjoyed this

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, ashish...
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Our hearts are always for rent,never for sale, somewhat borrowed, and returned somewhat used,always in need of repair.they often cause writer's block.maybe our loves were modelled from a library.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that might be true---appreciate your insights, andrew.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

"after all
you were only renting,"
killer lines for me ...your poems sure refresh the pains ... i would feel it even if my little heart never broke ... ouch sir!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your reaction, E.

always appreciate your visits immensely...
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you for saying so my friend. .. i enjoy stopping immensely ;)

[Island Hippy]

Aloha Jacob, the pain comes through in this. Really sharp pen. I enjoyed this. Izzy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Izzy...

j.

[Ken Simm.]

As true a description of pain and loss in relationships as I have seen.
A real heart opener. The pain is quite palpable.
Quality is flowing from the end of your pen.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Ken.
j.

[Michael Oliver]

another piece of ouch it must hurt so bad as you try to exorcise it so often - bell book and pen -

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Michael...
j.

[icelandicblue]

Risks and commitment can leave marks we are not always willing to make. I particularly like this one jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Anne...it is so good to see you again at WC...
j.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Oh Jacob, how unfair of her. To put her deposit above your poems! My pen, too, often refuses to be my brush ... but sometimes it does quite interesting brush strokes. I think your brush strokes were very good!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i appreciate your kind review, Aunt Astri...

j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

The theme of abandonment is safe in your hands Jacob as you rework it beautifully in the many colours of multiple metaphors.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, John.
j.