seasons curved in sway

seasons curved in sway

 

imagine a snowfall in June

hearts afire with white flame

and incandescent skin tanned in dimpled decor

burn tracked veins of cold blood

 

a lover's venom

swift blue

 

 

it's December in March

            and I couldn't feel further

from mirth

 

---because the birth

             of us

 

is an aborted blizzard 

 

frost bite

             a translucent reminder 

 

i did once

            love you.

erin-cilberto

3/11/17

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Imagine at the end of it all a thick coating of hoar frost on an ex-lover's heart. Good one, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like how you imagine, my friend....

thanks

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

"---because the birth of us is an aborted blizzard" bitterly frosts the chestnuts.
Your metaphors are jarring; your portrayal is ruthless; your heart, not yet healed.
Powerful offering, Jacb!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Jimmy,
j.

[Daisy]

You are a gifted writer J.
The minute details that you capture through your words empowers your rich body of work.
"burn tracked veins of cold blood
a lover's venom
swift blue"

I loved how you expressed it :)
Look forward to more.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Daisy...

j.

[Mary]

the appearance of the poem, organized quatrain devolving into a chaotic mess is quite dramatic and adds much to the deep anger andheartbreak expressed. Some very powerful lines! "---because the birth
of us

is an aborted blizzard" and" i did once
love you." sting

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Mary.

j.

[Tony]

I like the way the poem starts out in a cinquain then just kinda falls apart. It really reflects the subject matter. Oh yea, I also enjoyed all the unique contrasting imagery👍

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review,Tony.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

A dear Jacob.... when love is new, the world is a time of beginnings with surprises ... but when the blue becomes
the color of love... somehow the stars no longer shine as brightly... and memories linger as snow falls gently...
across a field of broken dreams. truly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Pat.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Poignant words....love that changes with the seasons, but is never quite forgotten. It's amazing how two people who once were part of each other and loved each other end up being strangers. Good one, Jacob. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi..
j.

[Manasa.L]

The comparison of love to seasons is very beautiful.
Indeed its true that sometimes Love does change, when there is lot of things happening in a relation; disappointment, trust issues. You have captured wonderfully in your words everything.
Amazing Writing:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Manasa...

j.

[Giulia King]

"..a translucent reminder
i did once
love you."
I'm listening to a song called translucent right now. It's just piano. But this poem is so beautiful. Loved reading it :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i have those coincidental moments quite often..
thank you for your kind words,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

a cold wind blows in this write ,somehow reminds me of cry me a river!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew....

j.