the needles within

the needles within

pine trees,

and gin streets

the scent of nature's breath

the cold hard aroma of opened bottles

like hearts in paper bag clothing

it's all the same,

we take deep inhales

at the mountains and the tall timbers

gracing the sunset

and then cry

at the sound of shuffling feet

red eyed tenaciousness

trying to survive

and the crinkling sound

of swigs of lives

just waiting to grace

their last sunset.

erin-cilberto

2/1/17

Reviews

[Archie Logsdon]

Fine writing here, Jacob. You don't flinch. Or judge.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Archie.
j.

[Norman 223]

The contrast between the scents of pine and the smell of decline makes a powerful statement that there is a world of despair that needs to be addressed in a more sympathetic way. Your final stanza was so powerful and poignant.
N.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful reply, Norman.
j.

[Shy Joe]

My heart wore a paper bag for a long time. Seems like it had to get soaked into a pool of reality to rip it from the cellulose cage. Times now spent wiping off the dampened residue.
Very well written. Thanks for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Shy Joe.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

The homeless do tend to suffer from alcoholism. I could see their red eyes, smell the gin, and hear the shuffling feet. Where is their hope? Still, they continue, don't they? Powerful imagery here, Jacob. lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, Lydi...

j.

[Ana B.]

mesmerizing and serene...ish pastels this one has. A bittersweet dance of words and feelings. Gorgeous write, Jacob .

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Ana.
j.

[D Connolly]

You're speaking my language Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, D.---glad it could speak to you.

j.

[AYVID N]

and the crinkling sound
of swigs of lives
just waiting to grace

their last sunset."

Makes me shiver how you say this truth, poetically detached yet not softening the blow. The last sunset is coming so I better inhale to the fullest while I can...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, DIVYA...

j.

[Paul Bell]

You sort of don't mind if the person waiting to grace their last sunset was old. But they're all bloody young people in the prime of life. It's like they pack life into ten years and jump off the nearest cliff.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, yes, Paul...thank you for your insight.
j.

[aLittlePain]

The title was a draw card for me, like a universal truth. Resonates with me deeply those needles certainly pierce one deeply. Those ever present reminders! Beautiful writing j, elegant and poignant. R xo

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind with your words, Rach.
thank you.

j.

[B]

I love his scene you draw out
A very diverse place
experiencing restlessness
A soul
Seeing it all
Finding peace within and without
The discomfort of peace findings
I am listening to George Harrison
I could be very far off

But this is my take on this one

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like where you took this...and George was my favorite Beatle...the soft spoken, introverted one...always looking for inner peace.
thank you, SoloSolace.

[B]

He's amazing ..... :)