Retirement Plan

Retirement Plan

 

 

delirious sarcasm

joyful monotony of love

the repetitious array of heart poundings

 

"Uncle" shouted too many times

by the chapped lips of a now silent mouth

the words stalled on the brink

 

stalled by your beauty

i wanted that redundant tautology 

to reappear again

 

let me die in your eyes

suffocate on your breath against my tongue

make me mute

 

because inside i am shouting for the savage pain

to embrace me just one more time

 

i will die slowly

but perfectly insane

once knowing i had been loved

 

even if now my ring finger is empty

and my teeth grind from the memories

 

enamel scrapings all that are left

yet i am a rich man

if heartbreak

is anything like a 401 k. 

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/28/17

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Wonderful use of words and thoughts.
"enamel scrapings all that are left
yet i am a rich man
if heartbreak
is anything like a 401 k. "
Most of us would be wealthy if had heartbreak as savings. Thank you Jacob for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, we would, Coyote...yes we would...

thank you,

j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.

[Ana B.]

you had me from the very first line. This is my favorite of yours, Jacob. ''Let me die in your eyes''...thats freaking fantastic. And i agree, delirious sarcasm or not, heartbreak does bring lots of things in a person's life. A precious lesson, for one, and the ability to see how strong we really are .

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Ana.
j.

[Leslie Philibert]

a very powerful,, excellently written poem that seems to me to include the whole range of personal tragedy, a kind of universal suffering that leads to the last, very strong verse. Excellent

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Leslie.
j.

[Cassie]

The emotion here is deep, if heartbreak could be bought, many of us would gladly sell it but i wonder who would want to buy such a bad thing..
(even if now my ring finger is empty and my teeth grind from the memories) This is not so good, the memories are not good at all especially cos the ring finger constantly reminds you of the past. I like the imagery

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like your insightful response very much, Cassie..

thank you.

[Lydia Shutter]

Oh, if only emotional pain were a commodity on the open market. I believe many of us would be millionaires. Even though it may hurt in the end, love is always worth it. I believe that....perhaps foolishly. The metaphor, the imagery.....just wonderful. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi...
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Bleak throughout; ending with bitter sarcasm.
Lighten up, prof. A man can live without love.
Believe me, I know.
High-level work!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that's two of us...thanks, Jimmy...
and yes, one can.

[Linda alexander]

Everything under the sun is a mirage bible says, maya everything is maya which means everything is is an illusion, past, present and future and everything in these three tenses happens for goodness hiduism says, Bhagavat gita says dear son or daughter you do your work or karma and result of entitled work is only decided by Lord Krishna, so your metaphor is very apt, if heartbreaks can be taken as wealth it may make us rich, Wow! a real great poem

[jacob erin-cilberto]

some of us would be quite endowed with that wealth.
thank you, Linda.
j.

[Kesha]

I really enjoyed the form & flow of this piece. Excellently written. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, breakinganon.

j.

[Kesha]

You're welcome

[Dr. Wood ?]

Excellent sir, the pain and the pleasures of life all neatly packed up into one clever package

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Dr. Wood...

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

It sounds oh so ridiculous when I review you. A fawning pupil on her university prof ... I just love this poem - - how it succinctly dissects the pain and puts it in plain language -- at once dressed up and dressed down -- definitely a fave.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"at once dressed up and dressed down"
that is quite the compliment...and i really appreciate it, KL.
j.

[Lyn Anderson]

I am afraid your words leave me a little in awe and I don't have anything value-added. But I do so enjoy your work. I have since I first came here, which is now about 4 years.