the draft of forensics

the draft of forensics


incriminating evidence,

heart palpitations

 

screaming skin, moist

the tears of yesterday absorbed

 

funding low,

had savings to protect my emotions

 

but the crime is costly

i let the broken pieces

pull together,

into a shape i'm afraid of

like the monster under the bed,

 

you left mine with just sheets of empty writing

now there are prints all over the room

 

and i lie waiting for the arrest

just a matter of time,

and nothing left 

for bail,

 

or reconstruction

of the words 

now hiding in the closet

 

just more monsters

in the mind.



erin-cilberto
1/17/17

Reviews

[ReedWrite]

I love this analogy...and it's so relevant. I love this:
had savings to protect my emotions/but the crime is costly/ i let the broken pieces/pull together,/into a shape i'm afraid of/like the monster under the bed,

I think we all believe we are balanced...strong enough to withstand heartbreak...but sometimes the "crime", is too great. It takes our feet from under us...the cost too high...and we crumble under the weight of it like a house of cards trying to hold up a cinder block. And we don't seek help...we pull in on ourselves, believing that in time, we'll be okay...but it's a lie. We know it's a lie, and yet we don't question it...and over time, the pieces pull together...mend in abnormal ways, like a badly set broken bone. We mend, but in ways that scare us sometimes...like the monster under the bed. We become harder...sharper...more cynical...less forgiving...whatever...the point is we change, and not always in good ways. This piece was so thought-provoking...so deep and emotional for me...left me reading and rereading the words, just contemplating what drove you to write them. Nicely done!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love your insights here, ReedWrite...i really appreciate your words...
j.

[Hebe]

Wonderful piece.. unique in the way you describe a broken heart!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Hebe.

j.

[Rynn]

I found this piece really though provoking. I really liked the way you worded it. Everything is just vague enough to where I spent a fair amount of time considering each line.

"had savings to protect my emotions" - This line really caught my attention. The idea of needing money or funding to protect one's emotions is alarming on it's own. It's very relatable; the idea of needing financial stability to make being severely ill or injured bearable is very powerful.

"i let the broken pieces
pull together," - I liked these lines because they imply that, even though the setting is currently desolate, there's hope.

"you left mine with just sheets of empty writing
now there are prints all over the room" - I imagine someone lying in a white room, wrapped in nothing but words; words in no particular order, as If they've lost their very meaning, nonsense phrases cover the walls such as those found in Alice in Wonderland.

I wondered imensely what specifically this piece might be about, but there's definitely a sickness to it. Very well done. Thanks for the read!

-Rynn

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your detailed review...appreciate your time and words, Rynn.

j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Feels like the person offended against holds the guilt and cannot see the harm done to them by the other party Jacob. The emptiness of being left to wonder and ponder on what you did to make it fail!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, John.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

I read this as who murdered the love in question, but not as simple as that, as I read between the lines, I saw skeletons in the closet maybe another addition to those not fulfilling a promise!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

quite insightful meanings you project...thank you, andrew.

j.

[Papaya]

evidence of love without a conviction, now the flashbacks remain to haunt you after the love trauma. great poem - that was my interpretation but I have to say, as much as I love your poems I always enjoy reading everyone's interpretations too.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really appreciate your interpretations, Ana..

thanks for the read and words.
j.

[Muse]

It pleases me to see you are still writing. Such a gifted writer you are. You always make my mind wander. And I've always liked that about you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your visit, glad to see you around again,

j.

[Tony Jordan]

It definitely happened Jacob. The monster is out from under the bed and is looking ready and eager to let his army of ghouls and gremlins at the reigns.
I see the statue of liberty lying with a chalk silhouette around her.
:s

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the last line of your review is so telling...and such truth.

j.

[Ken Simm.]

I don't think I can consider anyone else such a master of metaphor and personal stories.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind, Ken.

thank you,
j.

[AYVID N]

I was expected to perish and I survived. That in itself is a crime. Trying to protect myself from being further destroyed is an even greater one. I wonder what punishment awaits me?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

good question...thank you for your words, DIVYA...
j.