the Man and me

the Man and me

 

 

 

if he had been a writer, too

would Father have referred to my writing

as "just passable"

"deplorable"

"fine"?

his engineer self

put together mechanically---

form and structure

but not the rhyme or meter kind

 

he never understood me

until his hair grew completely gray

and he let his beard grow out---

 

as if there was a part of him that wanted always

to rebel against the norm

against the upper class form

 

to find a certain construction

in things outside the box---

he lived within a world created for him

in refineries, New York offices

a marriage of moving upscale

 

of black and white

of things having a place and a place for things

of neatness

&

near perfection

 

kindness a bit soured with prejudice

a helping hand that might pick and choose

 

and words---

a strong voice

non-poetic

more technical in a hands-on sense

than a heart-on sense,

although in his core

deep love existed---

(he just most times hid

behind the gruff exterior of his life)

 

and it existed for me,

despite a side that lacked understanding

for what i was,

i wrote poems

his nomenclature for that was "hobby"

 

we didn't take each other seriously

really...

until recently

even as the conversations diminished

shortened

found limits

 

love flourished

i still wrote poems

he acknowledged them

without really reading or understanding

 

but got "it"

whatever "it" was or is

now

 

he accepted, i accepted

and today we write together,

even though

 

i am still the one who holds the pen.

 

erin-cilberto

1/12/17

Reviews

[Alfred Kukitz]

I can't recall when a beautiful feeling washed over me while reading this piece.

Some lines are absolutely brilliant, gruff exterior of life, I am the one who still holds the pen.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, my friend...

j.

[Brokensoul]

The bitter sweet relationship of father and son expressed with a faith streak of humor. I do not mean amusing but it brings a wry smile when to reaching the end. It has sadness but not really sad. Parents not acknowledging dreams of children is known but when we move our way they do pray for us to do well. What a well written piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Brokensoul.
j.

[Jon Roggie]

One of the things after my Dad's death was getting his writes. Neither one of us would share them with the family. I still don't. Family will be getting a big packet if I go.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

some family think we are not of the same blood...poets are so misunderstood and feared when the rest of the family has not that leaning.

thank you, Jon.

[Jon Roggie]

I think we do know the other. We just get that close.

[andrew mitchell]

Such were the times of Parents know best but failed in some cases to recognize that dreams are possible to make happen. Some are famous today. Only wished I did art now! Nice write Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, we can't let it slip away because family doesn't get it...so right, andrew.
j.

[Ken Simm.]

Reminicences. Its strange how quite some number of us come from a background that didn't encourage our type of work. Didn't really consider it work. My family had the same idea about me, the artist. Thought it was girly as they called it and soft. When you think about it there is so much wrong with that attitude but as you rightly point out it was the prevailing one.
Perhaps they didn't look for other ways because there wern't any.
However, an evocative write and not in any way deplorable or just fine.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i can surely attest to this, Ken. My favorite weekends ever were our Heartland Writers Conferences...in Sikeston Missouri, every two years...the attendees were editors, publishers, novelists, poets etc. All of us of the same breed, all of us who seemed only understood by those of our leaning...everyone there...understood and accepted each other...and encouraged...i used to give poetry workshops there, and it was such fun---poets embracing each other...and coming from similar perspectives.

j.

[Dhaye]

I really like this poem, sir. So touching for me because it's about parent-child relationship. Sometimes they don't understand our journey, but deep inside they are praying that we have chosen the right path.
Five stars for this excellent piece. Great!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for understanding where i come from, where so many of us come from....

j.

[Bala Gorthi]

Parents support or do not support our destiny puts us where we belong. But the pain goes all along the life when they do not understand our passion or love.
I am glad you got it "the acceptance ". Thank you for holding on to the pen for the world to be charmed by it. Thank you for sharing..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, later is better than never to get that acceptance...thank you, Bala.
j.

[Bacchus]

I think we must get to a point
When not understanding is harder than understanding. That it takes so much more work to shave every day, we grow out the hair and give grace

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is so ironic that you said what you did about the hair...i never knew my dad any differently than with his crewcut and clean shaven face...

in the last couple years he is now with scruffy beard and his hair all grown out...i teased him that he doesn't look like a retired engineer anymore, he looks like an old poet...he smiled.

thanks, Bacchus...

j.

[Beccy]

On the surface, when I left the city and my career behind, my father, who I was working for, wished me well, though I know deep down how disappointed he was.

A decade on, and as a parent myself, I can understand how he felt; I am just grateful that he loved me enough not to insist I stay, because if he had, I know I would have done.

'he accepted, i accepted
and today we write together,
even though
i am still the one who holds the pen.'

Those lines define love as it should be.

Beccy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i imagine the hardest thing as a parent is to let go...

we are either more afraid that our children will fail...or maybe that they will succeed without our help.
thank you, Beccy...

j.

[Manu]

Wow wow, sir.
Choosing your dreams over parents dream is never an easy thing to do. And I really agree we should go in the direction where our hearts lie.
There are so many hearty elements in this beautiful and heavenly poem. All stories do not end on a positive note and I am glad this ended. Though, it took time but I am happy that finally his dad understood.
I really loved that last line.
Take a bow for this amazing write, Sir.
This one touched me deep.
Keep sharing and keep writing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Gorthi...

j.