the Man and me

the Man and me

 

 

 

if he had been a writer, too

would Father have referred to my writing

as "just passable"

"deplorable"

"fine"?

his engineer self

put together mechanically---

form and structure

but not the rhyme or meter kind

 

he never understood me

until his hair grew completely gray

and he let his beard grow out---

 

as if there was a part of him that wanted always

to rebel against the norm

against the upper class form

 

to find a certain construction

in things outside the box---

he lived within a world created for him

in refineries, New York offices

a marriage of moving upscale

 

of black and white

of things having a place and a place for things

of neatness

&

near perfection

 

kindness a bit soured with prejudice

a helping hand that might pick and choose

 

and words---

a strong voice

non-poetic

more technical in a hands-on sense

than a heart-on sense,

although in his core

deep love existed---

(he just most times hid

behind the gruff exterior of his life)

 

and it existed for me,

despite a side that lacked understanding

for what i was,

i wrote poems

his nomenclature for that was "hobby"

 

we didn't take each other seriously

really...

until recently

even as the conversations diminished

shortened

found limits

 

love flourished

i still wrote poems

he acknowledged them

without really reading or understanding

 

but got "it"

whatever "it" was or is

now

 

he accepted, i accepted

and today we write together,

even though

 

i am still the one who holds the pen.

 

erin-cilberto

1/12/17

Reviews

[marilyn 1225]

this is a great description of your dad's ' organized technical neat as a pin ways you on the other hand , a true poet, were different and loved and the ending is truly beautiful... what a wonderful voice you have!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, marilyn.
j.

[J. J. Nightingale]

Oh my goodness jacob !!! This IS your best write ever !!!!!...
My parents died before I started to write .. but I think they would have praised my efforts..

"more technical in a hands-on sense
than a heart-on sense,"...........wow.. sigh

So many thought-full lines... but I see love.. from Him..and from YOU .and respect... Some can not express their emotions, feelings... thoughts.. so they stay silent. or shout out in anger.... but we know the life they have lived, and that speaks volumes ..... .

I always took the practical, straight and narrow road, Education, Hard Work..Marriage, Children....everything was in order, as I was told it should be.. I never had a wild side.. till I was a grand mother...then I let loose.. Ha! .. and did it my way.........

Forgive my blather ...............

Well Done !!!

Jazzy...........

[jacob erin-cilberto]

gosh, Jazzy, i really appreciate your "blather"

it shows me that the poem spoke to you...and that is what can hope for....
thank you so much.

j.

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome..... Happy Weekend........J.J.

[Carol Cashes]

This. Is. Exceptional. Most of us writers are not really understood by our more pragmatic loved ones, though they try, but give up too soon or because it takes a certain understanding of the "betweeness" of things to write and some can only see the black and white. We love them anyway, and they love us in their confusion.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for understanding and your very kind words,
j.

[h d e rushin]

I had this conversation with my mother. Had her read a poem of mine in 2015 and I thought she would die on the spot. She didn't get it. which is code for "i didn't make it plain enough". For certain generations
(this present on included) you can't pretend that make believe exists. I mean, if it doesn't come as an apt on their smart phones, or in my mothers case, from the bible, it cannot be referenced as "a real event". Poems are esoteric(a), and infused with the afterlife and thus forces you to let go,
when living thru the depression made you (at least try) to hold on. No argument here.

But poetry "without reading or understand" are as important as human breath, if human breath is
the exhalation of the dioxide of something spent.
Poetry is ash dear brother. nothing else. I felt this one Jacob. Felt it deep inside of me.....dana

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing, dana....i appreciate the poet inside you...
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Many words to describe many more father-son intricate and contradictory feelings. Your tribute to “the Man” is wonderful...insightful character analysis and description of the changing, evolving relationship. I feel your love, admiration and respect for him, as I’m sure he does. Last line breathtaking. Kudos!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Annette.

j.

[LittleBeeKat]

reminds me of my father... good job!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for reading and the kind words.

j.

[Julia Ledo]

I love this one. Being a college student who is good at science but passionate about the arts I resonated heavily with the line "his nomenclature for that was "hobby""

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Julia...
j.

[APOORVA]

just wow.
such an intelligent writing.
interesting

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Apoorva.
j.

[AYVID N]

Father's love equally if not more than mothers, they just express it differently.

You complement each other perfectly. It doesn't matter who holds the pen because the love you share is so spiritually strong and so assured.

You have etched out a father's lovable character so beautifully with your pen. This poem is a gem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, and i do believe your first statement is true....just as much, but differently...

thank you, my friend...

j,.

[AYVID N]

You are most welcome, my friend.

[aLittlePain]

My dad was my hero and man I measured others against. He didn't really understand my choice to pursue a career in music, but he never failed to applaud my efforts he'd probably be chuckling at my attempts to write poetry. I knew many people far more accomplished than me who dropped out of music school because their parents couldn't support their choices. I still keep in touch with many of them and the resentment still lingers. I'm glad you held on to your pen. This was beautifully honest j. R xo

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and did you hold on to your music? what are doing with it these days?
thanks for sharing Rach.
j.

[aLittlePain]

I did yes :) My music pays my mortgage and a few other things :) it has taken me to lands far and wide. I see it in my son and I enjoy nothing more than a studio jam with friends.