heavy machinery

heavy machinery

 

 

 

crush my expression

with your bulldozer words,

there will be a complete flattening of ego

 

the remnants of the written building

containing my heart

will be obliterated

 

your deconstruction of me,

complete

and my blueprint

for new lodging

 

will lie on an otherwise deserted desk

gathering delicious dust

as you dine on what's left of me.

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/3/2017

Reviews

[Relic]

..............Demoralization of a heart and soul.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Relic...

j.

[V]

A heavy one. Destruction or deconstruction as you described it. The construction ground of a disappointed heart, at least that's how it comes across to me, adding my personal experiences to it now. Smartly expressed as ever, following your usual style yet def something good you made your own. Words like heart and desk your trademark ;)
And again I can identify myself a lot with your word use and choices.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for relating ....appreciate your words...

j.

[The dark story]

Oh God!! Now this really felt cold and emotional simultaneously. The strong metaphors punches me hard. I guess that's how I picture the selfish and power-hungry side of world today. They dilapidate our pride, ego and even our very hard work, razing them to dust and still not satiated-they feed upon our very soul, sucking our life.
A very powerful poem.
Have a good day sir 😊

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights and kind words, Atiba.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

No reason to allow another person to bulldoze your ego and leave you in a broken down building. Some people find pleasure in putting down others....sad individuals. Good write. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lydi.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

Boy! did you take a pounding like being berated by a parent. Heavy machinery indeed! I almost felt she was dining on your letters as placemats without an ounce of compassion to give. A bulldozer of a write J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew.

j.

[Norman 223]

But those words can be equally constructive if the bulldozer is carefully manipulated, Jacob.
N.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is true, Norman.

thank you for your comment,
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh man!!! life an sure be a b***h .. ( a deliberate pun) my younger son is a very intelligent and informed young man and we have held differing political positions this last election cycle .. your poem reminds me of him ..God bless him :) he is instant and still fully loaded in his discontent .. and tho i don't bring "it" up ..he did just last night as we talked ..so i have to chuckle just a bit ..tho your poem is so devastating and real ..to be chewed and not allowed to chew is a very hard pill to swallow indeed .. and when its a woman on the mission ..the destruction is utterly complete ..never disappointed reading your stuff jacob
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing how you related to this piece with your own story...you guys agree to disagree, i imagine...

and yes, a woman on a mission..mmmm

thank you, E.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

i am also reminded of a patient of mine who was run over by an earth mover .. (wheels about 10ft diameter) it backed right over his hips and lower stomach and when his co-workers screamed the driver stopped and ran over him again going forward .. he was completely conscious and lucid on arrival .. he said he could feel the blood being squished up into his head (every blood vessel in his eyes were burst) he looked like a vampire ... if the earth were not as chewed up as it was he certainly would have died, but it was softened by their work and he made a slow but complete recovery .. what a miracle .. sorry ..i do go on in the morning don't i!? :}

[Gee]

Now Jacob, true story. I was run over by a dump truck at the latter end of the 80's, was told by rights I shouldn't have survived, but being a lover of life, survive I did. Now, this mishap is why I have such a carefree and mainly worry free view on life, and is probably the reason I haven't progressed past puerile in the writing stakes as it gave me a good ol' smack on the head as it rolled off and onwards. Now you know...oh, obviously enjoyed the visit to " Chief Grey Feathers" wigwam

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow...yes, if you survived something like that...anything else thrown at you in life would be like a Disney movie in comparison...

thanks, Gee.

j.

[Bala Gorthi]

This write comes really heavy on the heavy machinery.. What a metaphor! We become victims of those bulldozer words from time to time....
Thanks for sharing this beautiful write, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Bala.

j.

[Ken Simm.]

Excellent metaphors Jacob. Takes the reader into just how you feel.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Ken...

j.