the pretender

the pretender

 

 

 

lifeless,

another shovel full of indifference

thrown on the grave

as the poet's eyes

glazed with apathy

stare at the keys

 

trying to write the epitaph

with some profound apology

to all who read his shallow words

 

wishing his tomb

to be deeper than he.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

12/29/16

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

buried in indifference, but whose, the reader's or the writer's? hard to kill what we don't control. An epitaph for dying talent? The words are there until the last breath. Good write, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind and insightful review, Ted.

j.

[mou]

how could you hit the sentiment so profoundly !!
also dug the meaning of pretender in a entirely new way.thanks for sharing with us J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, mou.

j.

[mou]

it's my pleasure

[lua]

this holds such deep connotations of feeling one's work, their art appears to others a lot more significant and perceptive than the thoughts and emotions that inspired it, leaving the poet to feel like a pretender, a fraud of his own trade - very clever choice of words

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, lua...i very often feel a fraud...not sure where the words come from...they just come...and i write them...but most of the time i don't feel i am really the one doing it...

yes, a pretender...

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Your words never seem shallow to me. However, I can identify with staring at the keys and not having a bit of inspiration. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lydi...i guess we are our own worst critics, as they say...

appreciate you!

j.

[Tony Jordan]

Apologising for not digging deeper in the tomb of the self to find those nuggets before giving in and flopping down to the forever sleep.
A mission unaccomplished - coffins filled with regret.
So sad J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Tony....
j.

[ms. barrie]

quite a profound write, writ with eloquence...
the writer constantly has to spill some of their soul's blood onto paper, lest to be relieved of all their cacophony baggage from either others or just life, that they carry. I feel a writer feels a bit more than the norm...in which can cause the their psyche to become a little laceterated .

the death or rather, depression (epitaph);
could perhaps be dealing with writer's block or having a lack of being able to express one's self, or problems with communicating with someone (indifference) --

at least, that's my interpretation lol.
either way, one can drown in your words and never want to come up for air.

enjoyed every word you used & how you used them. always a pleasure to read your art.

Thank you for sharing, X - barrie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, barrie...
j.

[ms. barrie]

You're most welcome, jacob

[Inject Positivity]

Very deep write Jacob... Thoughts of life are always in the mind of the poet and as I read your word 'epitaph' I see the words written on it by a poet waiting for the last stage of life...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Dhiman..
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

This reminds me of Springsteen's line, "where they ended up wounded not even dead". May your grave be deep my friend, deeper than most, for me, I shall be a cadaver with my ash spread some years later among my youthful days at the park.
Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i too will be ashes...sprinkled either in Tickle Naked Pond in VT or Crab Orchard Lake in Carbondale...

thank you for your words, Al.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Enjoy the swim!

[Paul Bell]

Isn't epitaph such a fine word. The final words of the departed from your own departed mind. Always think to myself, if it takes five minutes, it'll be brilliant. If i go back to it ten times, read it backwards, sideways, sober, drunk, no joy. Every poet must have that deep hole somewhere, where bones turn to dust. Maybe that is the epitaph. All the best for 2017, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

all the best to you too, Paul...your response is better than the poem...thank you...

j.

[Ayvid N]

This poem touched me to the core...there is much depth and brilliance in the concluding lines.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, DIVYA...

j.