Weatherman

Weatherman

glib forecaster,
smiles cloudy lies
over Big Screen serene skies
frost in the afternoon,
her lips sleeting deceit

the snow flies
and i will be knee deep
in white contrivance

she loved me once
when it was warm,
but seasons change

the map
illustrates the fronts

and she put on a good one
that clear halcyon day we met

now i'm freezing and my hand is numb
and glove-less
because hers isn't in mine
and i am love-less.




erin-cilberto
12/9/16

Reviews

[Rebecca Leigh]

Very powerful piece! Well done!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Rebecca...

j.

[KTizzle]

I really liked how you incorporated the weather to describe the deception of a former lover. I especially loved this line, "in white contrivance."

I also really enjoyed some of the word play like here, "the map/illustrates the fronts/ and she put on a good one." I thought that was interesting.

I have never had anyone cheat on me or really lie to me like this so I cannot relate, but it was nice to grow in the understanding through the comical comparison of the weather to your former lover.

Good read!

Thanks for posting! Have a great day!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your extensive and very kind review...

j.

[Jon Roggie]

Nice one. We can always depend on your subtle use of words.
Jon

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Jon. you are kind.

j.

[Comewhatevermay]

Jacob, I love this.
I like how you drew attention to her trespasses in such a clever way:

"The map
Illustrates the fronts

And she put on a good one
The clear halcyon day we met"

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Just like the mood swings,one day you're in love,tomorrow discarded. Such finesse j

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew.

j.

[Cattleya]

I hope my written be as great as yours this was amazing an very deep beautiful

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Cattleya...

j.

[Finn]

A poem with rhymes and a sense of feeling or at least i get the sense of felling good poem

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Finn.

j.

[Valentine]

This made me chuckle...loved you once when it was warm huh! This got me thinking of Michigan weather and the lack of snow until a couple of days ago. Weather man never gets it right. Valentine

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your review, Kathie

j

[Ken Simm.]

Excellent use of metaphor. Taking it as always somewhere else; by the master. Fine fronts, highs and lows, storms and periods of good weather remembered

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Ken.

j.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome kindly. ...::::)))))

[Jimmy Yetts]

A metaphorical monsoon.
Much like the weather, everybody talks about heartbreak but nobody does anything about it.
Call me when ya got somethin' solid.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i will definitely do that, Jimmy...i'll call you...as Rocky would...i'll yell "hey YO!"

read morei will definitely do that, Jimmy...i'll call you...as Rocky would...i'll yell "hey YO!"

thanks so much.

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Ha!
Deal, Jacob!