Weatherman

Weatherman

glib forecaster,
smiles cloudy lies
over Big Screen serene skies
frost in the afternoon,
her lips sleeting deceit

the snow flies
and i will be knee deep
in white contrivance

she loved me once
when it was warm,
but seasons change

the map
illustrates the fronts

and she put on a good one
that clear halcyon day we met

now i'm freezing and my hand is numb
and glove-less
because hers isn't in mine
and i am love-less.




erin-cilberto
12/9/16

Reviews

[cs richardson]

These lines are exceptional, I think: "her lips sleeting deceit", " in white contrivance". The saddest thing, perhaps, in the end of love is that internal questioning we go through. How could we have been deceived?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words,

j.

[barleygirl]

Many clever word plays here . . . "lips sleeting deceit" (love the "eee" sounds) . . . "the fronts . . . and she put on a good one" (so true-to-life) . . . "glove-less . . . love-less" . . . and my favorite, the 3rd stanza, becuz the weather is always so fickle in my neck of the woods!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, barleygirl....

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Time for an electric blanket Jacob. I heard they stay true to warmth and silence.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think you are right, Al...
thanks

[Lydia Shutter]

Great metaphor. The fronts people hide behind can bring on quite a chill. Lots of pain between the lines here. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lydi.

j.

[Jddcbjiuh]

Superb and beautiful. Your writing is amazing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Nini.
j.

[Alessander]

Very concise. Packs a lot in so little with grace.
Love the extended metaphor and word play like "fronts" which could mean both weather front or facade.

And naturally, I'm obligated as a writer to love 'halcyon"

I like the theme - there's def something artificial about weather ppl on tv. The women have b**b jobs while the men are orange with colgate teeth.

And they're revealing "nature" to us.

A def disconnect which I think you picked up on and expressed on some level.

Keep up the good work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Alessander.

j.

[W.k.kortas]

The big screen does to go heavy on the glib and light on useful truths, which makes it the exact opposite of this piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, W.k.

j.

[redzone]

s**t, damn, fuk Jacob that was a brutal snow storm that was dumped on you... such a storm can also leave you a frost bitten heart and while numb hadns are no fun, a numb heart is even worse to endure... remember back in the day when we would say, "you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind is blowing"??? while it had a double meaning then, not sure a broken heart was one of them as it does in your poem...

well I don't need a weatherman to know you write some "stormy" poetry Jacob.. nope as a matter of fact some of that snow paid us a short visit last night... ;0)

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you gave me such a grin with your comments, Curt...thank you...

j.

[redzone]

you're welcome Jacob and thanks...

[Kelly Scheppers]

The small talk of weather manifested itself brilliantly here. That really shouldn't surprise me, though...it's pretty much what I've come to expect from you!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind, thank you for your review, Kelly...
j.

[Alisa Js]

Aloha J,

This one sounds to me like a very bad break-up, the kind you knew would one day come, yet on the other hand, wish it didn't come so soon.

Wishing you well.

Alisa

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, Alisa.

j.