Romeo's Void

Romeo's Void

 

 

my words come like starch stiff collars

i want to give you my ring,

but you are spinning in other circles

while i air out my dirty laundry

in poems that have no rinse cycle

i can't get my sediment to come out pure white

always a dye from that bleeding rose

 

lifeless wrinkles in my sentiment

all of the sedated softener

can't make my heart yield

 

my vocabulary is on high heat

but logic has a relentless dampness

my permanent-press emotions lose shape

 

and i no longer fit snugly into you....so

i'll just button up the memories

best i can,

and love you loosely

from afar.

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/19/16

Reviews

[B]

I couldnt help myself but laugh
You know what they say .... never love someone that doesnt have wrinkles ...... under the eyes in specific
love is like that machine cycle
we keep dumping that shirt back into that machine

we want crispy white
but that shirt has a life of its own
and with all the stains and mess

we put on the same shirt every morning
to take it off at night :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, PoetryWorld...

yes, we do want crispy white don't we?

[Rebecca Leigh]

Interesting perspective! What inspired you?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes i am not even sure from where the words come...they come, i write them...and i just think in metaphor...almost a curse.
thank you for your response,

j.

[BBP]

Nice write. Liked how you kept the metaphor flowing all the way through.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind response Bev.

j.

[NeiL ArandA]

Once again I saw how you use the washing machine and dryer and laundry materials as sole ingredients in this poem.Though it's all spelled out for us it seems that we can't get the words out right how we want to tell someone or things end up the way we want and anticipated. We default to something safer, less painful and less maintenance, admiring and loving someone from a distance.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Neil...
j.

[cs richardson]

Well done. I sense the frustration, sadness, and longing during those transitions when things change, often without our complete understanding as to why. As wordsmiths, I find it strange how words become "starched" when we most need them to let them fly in expression of our true feelings at critical moments. Also interesting to me is the idea of washing away the past.. I'm new to the site, and this poem made me join.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, cs...and welcome to Writers Cafe.

j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Loss becomes a void. Love once close, now is held 'loosely from afar.' Brilliant phrase, j. Memories are sometimes all we have to cling to...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Ted.
j.

[tanmay7551]

So close but far, looks like a fog around let the courage pass. Love though not meant to be lost becomes eternal even if its not turning light on the other end. So pure and sacrificial in nature when one knows he doesn't fit the love.
Wish many more such sould could have given that space and time and not jumped on the bumpy road. This gives more respect than them.

Thanks for the thoughts J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, tanmay...

j.

[Tom]

Yes indeed, A once snug fitting cardigan has unraveled and is now bedraggled, unkempt and beyond repair, perhaps time for a change ?

A soluble colloquy, bravo Jacob !

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Tom.
j.

[WittyWonka]

Love stained memories are impossible clean, no matter how often we write them and hang them to dry. Once they have been made they are permanently pressed onto the heart. The best we can do is love from afar. Love the laundry analogy and Shakespeare reference.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review...

j.

[Bacchus]

I hate laundry.
It's hell, right?
So is an unsuccessful Romeo.
This ring felt like a class ring...
and i normally don't like roses in poems,
but you've done it well here.
I like the snugly into you...
like clothes done warm and right.
Hoping this load of words
goes better than the next.
We seem to be cycling on
semisimilar waves at least.
Shakespeare I can do.
thanks for making this cafe worth it- Bacchus

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Bacchus---

j.