a pillow's whisper

a pillow’s whisper

 

 

i fell asleep composing

my heart nodded off supposing

it would wake with you holding it in your dreamy hands

 

a predisposition

of a composition

of our sentences merged

our past sadness purged

the thesis surmised

that love would surprise

 

and we would become a symphony

of dawning awareness

that waking hours can recapture

the dormant rapture

 

and blue doesn't have to be 

melody

for the song 

of you and me.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/5/16

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love the first line . . . brilliant succinct way to capture how it can be for many writers!!!! I also like your scattered rhymes, which I don't see very often in your writing (you know I'm a rhyme addict, but I try not to put this expectation on other poets! *wink! wink!*) As always I love the way you stretch a metaphor & the musical notes here are well composed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, barleygirl...

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Imagine waking to Ode to Joy and the symphony of your hearts merging into the dance of infinity.

Time to get up!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, it is...thank you Al...appreciate your words...

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Erin-cilberto,
How beautiful the thankfulness entwined within you rhyme! Gratitude is so winsome and nurturing and I always find it amazing because how helpful it is to live this way.............You have truly blessed with sweet one. Kathy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Kathy...

j.

[Adam Adams]

pillow talk? interesting.
girls oft. use to talk to... pillows, & us men... supposed to talking with empty walls. i like the "BLUE" thing you mentioned in poetry. me either envy such blues... esp. the ones that come on Mondays'. nice imagery here. pillow talks are oft. done when one's fallen in love and the other ain't even know how much he's or she's beloved within.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words Adam...

j.

[Linda alexander]

A excellent imaginative poem, pillow whispering to arise as happy song not as blue melody, hope pillow's whisper come true and happy melody may arise.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Linda.

j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob... Blue doesn't have to be sad...
Sapphire can be happy like you and me...
truly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so true...thank you, Pat.

j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Dealing with the frailties of a fading mind is very difficult. They are not the only one losing identity in the struggle. When they look but do not recognise the effect is we are disappearing too. Good write, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Ted.

j.