estimate of culpability

estimate of culpability 

 

 

the world incinerated

but her teeth still glowed in vicious smile

 

the tape exploded

when the righteous savior

ended up in the empty garden

 

when she saluted us with a kiss

her lips were absorbed in pain

and the lies

never made a dent in the fender of her conscience

 

he was her collision

and she his wreck

 

the flaming claims

flickered in her eyes

 

and honesty became a foreign language

with which she was suddenly unfamiliar.

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/14/16

Reviews

[barleygirl]

One of the things I most admire & envy about your word crafting is the way you come up with dozens of catchy phrases with which to title each of your well-crafted works. This title is amazing. As do most of your titles, it starts my imagination zooming ahead with ideas of what this could be about. I'm always surprised, tho, becuz your content is often quite different than my imagined ramblings. This message describes how some break-ups are like car wrecks, but usually even more incendiary as the blame game burns on.

[aLittlePain]

Splendid write j, the last three couplets...gold! R xo

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Rach....

j.

[Wandervogel]

beautifully penned...."honesty became a foreign language"....great sir

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, I.R.

j.

[Jerome F Knox III pseud..]

Perfection continues.. These lines were amazing


He was her collision
and she his wreck

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Rico...

j.

[Ted Kniffen]

I have seen far too many of these wrecks, mechanical and human, and your words convey both well. There are those to whom honesty is a foreign concept and those we elect. Good write, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Ted

[W.k.kortas]

I have yet to find a claims adjustor who will give a guy a fair shake in these matters.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

me too, W.k. thank you.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

"he was her collision
and she his wreck"

sad when a relationship is reduced to this. When a person can lie and not even think about the lies, he or she has no conscience. I think people who lie a lot end up believing their own lies. Good one, Jacob. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lydi...

j.

[redzone]

do I detect a wee bit of anger and testiness here Jacob... of course it is difficult not to be angry hen "honesty" is untranslatable and foreign to the tongue... you start off with the first of some really great images.. in a collision and wreck, the world definitely is on fire... often this fire takes everyone with too, no survivors... while I may have not read your poem accurately Jacob, there were a lot of feelings here... feelings that leave the reader shaken (definitely not stirred) in your metaphor and images...

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you read it as you saw it...that is all the accuracy needed...appreciate your review, Curt.

j.