Wild Horses

Wild Horses

his glass slipper met her midnight

and the carriage held but one

she danced away from his logic

and now the jack-o-lanterns flicker

memories in and out

the Ball is over,

and she's gone home

to someone else

he's still trying to catch a glimpse

of himself in her arms

before he forgot all the steps

before he

...forgot.

erin-cilberto

10/8/16

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Once again j. you come out with a wistful poem that invokes loss and longing and a touch of spirituality if I read this right. Wild horses indeed. A good write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words...and there is no right or wrong...what the reader sees is what's there for the reader...i am glad the poem could speak to you.

j.

[Ken Simm.]

Romance Jacob? Actually like all of your writes this is layered beyond the obvious. It is actually far more complex than first appears; but then you know that. I do detect an element of autobiography here as well. Interesting once again.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

in a "relative" way, autobiographical, yes.

thank you for your kind review, Ken.
read morein a "relative" way, autobiographical, yes.

thank you for your kind review, Ken.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

wistful, just a tad melancholy ..the romance leaves me feeling that yet grateful for having tasted one dance at the ball :)
your opening line is hooked me good .. its "his glass slipper...." for me that tells a great deal of the story ..enjoyed reading .. sparked me image and scene seeing ;) all the while that team of horses just barely held in check
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, E.

j.

[Vria P Crow]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

"Wild horses" symbolize freedom and innocence. This fairy tale reminded me of Cinderella, but with a saddening twist.

CONTENT AND FORMAT

I envisioned the speaker in modern times. He met a seemingly wonderful woman at a social setting such as a bar or club. Everything in the beginning appeared to be going smoothly until the abrupt ending. I felt the speaker's heart drop when he realized that the fantasy was broken. She was involved with someone else whether she was married or had a boyfriend. The reader may question if he know she was not single, but it does not matter.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Overall, I felt sympathy for the speaker. We do not choose we give our affections to. There was more than disappointment present here. He appeared heartbroken by the end. Thank you for sharing!

sincerely,
ria

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really find your interpretation very interesting...and can see how that can be the concept...
read morei really find your interpretation very interesting...and can see how that can be the concept...
thank you for taking the time with this piece, ria.

j.

[Vria P Crow]

I'm not sure why the "read more" tab has been acting up lately so I could not read the rest. However, still enjoyed your work either way even if I misread the concept. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i don't know why it isn't working either....but there is no misreading as far as i am concerned...once poets let readers read a poem, it belongs to the reader...i don't not believe in right or wrong interpretations....yes, there is usually something behind the writing of a poem, some inspiration...but they are not puzzles to figure out, they are poems for the reader to grasp onto and relate to however they will.

thank you for your read.

j.

[Vria P Crow]

These are my sentiments exactly. I could not have said it better myself.

[RedHairedWarrior]

Ooh. Great imagery. Sometimes the fairytale ending we imagine is a fairytale. I am wondering, though: the end, when it says that he forgets... is he forgetting her? Or is he forgetting the hope that he had felt? It seems weird to me that he would actually forget her, even if at some point she stops haunting him. But I guess that could also be my perspective as someone who has not yet lived long enough to know what happens to lost dreams many years later... Beautiful, sad poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

at his age, he forgets her....thank you for your kind review and your question...

j.

[Bala Gorthi]

That is the reality. Happy endings mostly happen only in fantasy or fiction. It is the memories that hurt the most. I loved this write, quite touching as your poems are.
Thank you for this beautiful write .

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Bala...

j.

[Corset]

Hmmm, now the song "wild horses" in Jewels voice is dancing in my head..."couldn't drag me away..lala" In Disneys Cinderella the carriage was drawn by mice :) The pumpkin carriage has been carved into Jack-o-lantern, the good guy wins? I wonder, does money make the man a better prince if the shoe fits?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, Corset...and i don't think money makes anyone better.

j.

[forgotten_ghosts]

Ah,Cinderella. But a more realisitc version of Cinderella. The kind of scence we all know because life is not like in a fairytale. It's just different somehow.
I really like this one because it grabs your attention and just feels honest!
Well done!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, forgotten_ghosts,
j.

[Alice Poésy]

The realistic version of Cinderella, and I have to say, I love this version more. What are the odds of a happily ever after?

Life rarely comes in carriages and pumpkins, but life does come as him, watching as she slips away to another's house.

Your writing has this raw honesty to it, Jacob, which I very much admire.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Alice.

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

Sometimes facing that midnight has come and gone is the hardest thing of all.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, KL...

j.