notes and scribbles of you

notes and scribbles of you


cerulean epitaph
from burning embers
your brown eyes rose
tinder free,
love dancing in iris lies

smoke filled promises
and third degree burns
the fulfillment of a candlelight wish
and then darkness,

a few loose guitar strings
melting with your aura
stinging me with the heat of your memory

in those blue skies
your gaze
imprinted on the soul of my heart
cold towels in my mind
placed in your stead

but i still feel you close to me
long after the flames have subsided
and the hard rain quelled the ashes

so there is no sound left
of what you were
and the edges of the picture
are singed
with your breath on my shoulder...




erin-cilberto
9/30/16

Reviews

[V]

This is a poem which makes one sigh while reading, especially close to the end, in a good way. Lovable images, clear and vivid, a joy to imagine and drink in your words.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Vanessa.

j.

[V]

Of course.

[Vria P Crow]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Firstly, your reviews stuck out for me and as I went to your profile I was thrilled to see that you love Meatloaf. Now the song is stuck in my head. However, I digress. The title intrigued me. I envision an older couple, reminiscing of a time when they were young.

CONTENT AND FORMAT

Free verse is a preference of mine so I instantly found the format appealing. Visually, I find it to be breathtaking, beautiful, and yet a bit somber or bittersweet. I cannot help but relate to the film and book, "The Notebook." The reference of "notes" and "scribbles" of you resonates well with the reader. "Scribbles" are the memories where as the "notes" clarify truth as we perceive it. The "epitaph" image implies that the lover has passed away. The poem concludes with the speaker gazing into a picture of a lost loved one, longingly.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"notes and scribbles of you" has left an impact on me as I have used to dread losing my significant other. However, I have grown to accept death to a certain degree. I do not fear aging. I fear what we do with our time before Father Time decides he wants us.

Overall, I found this to be a beautiful poem filled with a precious kind of love that does not wither. Thank you for sharing!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Ria.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

A lovely composed image of strumming a tune of memories special that filter through your mind.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew...

j.

[Chris]

Wonderful tribute jacob. It gave me the impression as I read it of following a kite string all the way up where it is free of any trees.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

free, yes, free...she is...

thank you, Chris., appreciate your words.

j.