the setting

the setting

the silver bird carried her away

but she still flew into my dreams

although the dream dimmed

like the light at sunset

and soon i realized her sun would never rise again

on my side of the world,

and i was left to wonder 

if we still saw the same moon

when night reminded us

of each other.

erin-cilberto

9/14/16

Reviews

[dan]

jacob, the loss of a love is like the setting of a forlorn sun in your sky of dreams and hopes. this imagery is strong and powerful as the sun itself, burnt into the fabric of the write. your use of metaphor and imagery is always on point, etching messages into readers' subliminal thinking and driving the message home. excellent as usual, thank you for allowing me to read. take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, dan.

j.

[Cassie]

The last stanza is chuckling...As usual I enjoyed

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, my friend.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

those big silver birds carry away far and long :( one must respect the poet's line breaks ... but break seems awkward between 2 and 3 Vs ... perhaps just leave "and" out in 3V 2 L ? read this over several times to feel the rhythm you intend ... the images and emotion is real and at once universal and personal ..you style of strong metaphor and crisp clear language is always applausable ... so .. bravo my friend! :)
E.
ps. what is your own personal most joyful poem you have shared? :))) i would love to read it :)))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, E. will take your suggestion into consideration...as for my most joyful...wow...would have no idea...i kind of write them and move on...i remember very few.

thank you, my friend.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) yeh ... too much for just the moment as it is eh!?

[...]

What is a heart to do without a memory, beat for what?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you lynn, good question.

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

It is interesting, the past loves that never leave us, and prompt us to wonder where they are and what they are doing as we gaze at the stars.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so true, thank you, KL.

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Sometimes, that parting lover's plane may as well have been a rocket to Mars--or so seems the degree of separation.
The sun has certainly set on what was once, obviously, a very close connection.
Live, love, lose and mourn--not an enviable cycle, but a human one.
Stunning piece, Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are kind, jimmy..

thank you.

j.

[Ruth]

The vastness of connection relating the moon and yet that connection lost, bittersweet beauty here Jacob :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Poppy...

j.

[andrew mitchell]

Probably not J, in regards to the moon but an excellent piece of writing, just stunning imagery and thoughts! one of my fav's of yours

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, andrew.
j.

[Adam Adams]

the misery of letting someone go is diff., but the pain of watching someone go so far from life's dead piercing. your poetry has such pierceness that... very much reflecting through refractive words. beautiful. heartfelt. & very devoted (devotional) poetry you've come up with. short as always. simple as hell. and deep as art perfectly nailed in words!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Adams...

j.

[Dave Ellis]

Beautiful!!

I wish they had a nice "like" button here at the writerscafe - when you love a poem but have nothing to add or say :))

Here's 1 big "like" from me!!

:D

Dave

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Dave...appreciate your kind words.

j.