a happy penance before the credits

a happy penance before the credits

 

 

 

she had an Ava Gardner smile

and i became Dirk Bogarde

leaving the cloth of innocence

on a Saturday night road

where the parking spots

were taken by sedans with foggy windows

and fumbling hands

 

lips met on a movie screen

for backseat extras

and for that one fatal hour

 

i gave up religion

made a quick contrition

and held her tight

 

at dawn,

i heard the toll of bells

felt the confessional calling my name

 

yet all i could think of 

was hers,

the brown eyed syllables of her breath

still softly whispering secrets in my ear

 

secrets even God could not get me to confess,

no matter how the movie ended.

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/5/16

Reviews

[Jamestown]

This piece is very cool my friend,
completely enjoyed the read,
last two lines put a huge smile on my face,
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Jamestown.

j.

[barleygirl]

One of your best . . . I love the blending of old-timey nostalgic groping experiences (great details!) with the interjection of religion & good intentions. The final couplet is truly brilliant!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barleygirl.

j.

[Drcicarlo]

It's refreshing to notice writers with such an elaborate way with detail. "...on a Saturday night road
where the parking spots
were taken by sedans with foggy windows
and fumbling hands," those lines strangely imaginable; it is as if you triggered a flashback. This was a lovely read. Thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Erica...

j.

[Rita L. Sev]

You know, life wouuld be pretty boring if we never had anything to confess... ;) You painted quite a picure here, Jacob. Love it!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Rita.

j.

[SJ Mullins]

Wow, you do have a way with words, Jacob! I cannot help but wonder if this is a true experience or just a poem. When poets write, people always seem to assume the poem is something the poet lived through. I do often write what I know, as I know many of us do, but sometimes, it is just a poem. Anyway, I digress. I really love the last two lines especially. A wonderful ending after such a hot night. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, ...

j.

[SJ Mullins]

You are most welcome. :)

[Carolynn]

Steamy hot! wow! That one night really left a lasting impression - reminds me of the song by Heart - all I want to do is make love to you :) best to keep it away from the confessional haha

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Carolynn...:)))

[MomzillaNC]

“Ava Gardner smile” and “brown-eyed syllables…” Those lines read like they should be the refrain of an iconic song. Wonderful poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Momzilla...

j.

[MomzillaNC]

YVW :D

[Einstein Noodle]

i read this through my Catholic up-brung eyes (can i say up-brung;) though heavy with a guilty conscience the innocence of youthful discovery rings true .. what was it we use to call drive ins ... oh yes .. submarine races ... another delightful read sir!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha...yes, those submarine races....thanks E.

appreciate the wayback smile...'sherman set the wayback machine to drive-in movies.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ................ guys night without a car between us ..we snuck in through a hole in the fence to watch those grand old motorcycle movies .. there were about 5 of us and all bought Harleys asap .. a few ride to this day ... such good memories ... thanks for poetry that sparks them

[1VJ]

Another with religious inclinations, sometimes the penance is worth the toll. Love the "Ava Gardner smile', apparently worth an imperfect contrition.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Paloma.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

This is sweet on a grandiose level. Opening stanza rocks! I can see this scene playing out across the country but you, Jacob, have given it its breath.

Great work!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Al.

j.