the ax from the ex

the ax from the ex

 

 

i retired from you

but with no pension,

just memories of the lies

the long hours of waiting alone

in the dark,

in the dark

you placed me on suspension

 

 

your severence smile

gave me no choice

there was no incentive package

just a pink slip, seismic tremor

 

and a chaotic goodbye

to forever.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/6/16

Reviews

[Adam Adams]

Well...
Not sure, if should I chuckle at or feel heartfelt for.. ov'r the loss of ur metaphor's fanatical love, but whatever it is, the idealism of "...getting retired but with no pension" is much fascinating. You appropriately & quite accurately adjusted the arrangements of your adhesive thoughts in words. Very eye-catching! People may survive the bombings' of love but their heart can't be lived without love droplets or so called "pension". Extraordinary work here!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Adams,

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

The metaphor is fantastic. Some relationships seem like prison sentences, absolutely. Lumbering and lingering forever. Good one. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lydi...

j.

[Miss Sharon]

Awesome imagery as usual "Sir Weaver of the Golden Metaphor!" Your talent (as well as your pain) is showing. ~Sharon

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Sharon.

j.

[Sarah]

This honestly gave me chills. I have never before connected a breakup to being fired, but the two coincide very nicely. The comparison was clever and the word choice was pristine. Just powerful!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Sarah.

j.

[barleygirl]

I know this feeling well . . . both from ex's and also from my last 3 jobs that were moved to different countries . . . I love the title, which is very cleverly stated. The sensation of disillusionment is nearly dripping off the words *sigh*

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barleygirl...

j.

[redzone]

the ax and lots of blood.... but I thought blood letting was put to rest in the Dark Ages, and yet seems to be lots of flowing blood these days... I am taking E's metaphor pretty far, but I think your metaphor for "getting the ax" from the "ex" is one bloody mess... a pink slip that just keeps on giving, but not pension or severence, just chaos of the heart...

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Curt.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

i feel for this protagonist ...really do ..i am amazed that, tho the theme is not foreign to your pages;) the metaphor makes it brand new .. have to say again your use of them is inspiring for me .. no matter how things seem ..the chopping block is always handy eh!?
E.
ps your title hooked me ..without proceeding further; i feel the blood letting

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, E.

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

I really like this -- it's nice when you click on a title and it becomes something slightly different than what you might at first imagine. Perfectly EXecuted.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, KL...

j.

[V]

That's a very well written and expressive piece. I can relate to the mood and def the title you chose for this one.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks Vanessa, i was afraid the title was too cutsie...

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Good fit with title and body. This felt like a cold day for a beheading.

Regards,
Al

Is she related to Isis?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Al.

j.