the ax from the ex

the ax from the ex

 

 

i retired from you

but with no pension,

just memories of the lies

the long hours of waiting alone

in the dark,

in the dark

you placed me on suspension

 

 

your severence smile

gave me no choice

there was no incentive package

just a pink slip, seismic tremor

 

and a chaotic goodbye

to forever.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/6/16

Reviews

[.]

Another extremely well written poem, Jacob.

Nothing prepares us for the end of a relationship, especially one which we thought was fine, and didn't see the end coming until the axe blade touched our necks.

A fantastic use of descriptive words that all relate back to the title of the poem and its defining theme; ax, severance, pension, suspension, pink slip; the end has arrived and the love has been discarded and thrown aside.

Sorry for the late review. A poet needs to recharge the imagination once in a while, and i think i may have overdone it! A brilliant write as always.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Doodley...

j.

[gentlekindness]

Raw truth. In some ways time heals but never fully. Oh the many choices we made when we were younger that we would have done differently had we known what we know now.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

as bob seeger sang..."wish i didn't know now what i didn't know then"--thank you, gentlekindness.read moreas bob seeger sang..."wish i didn't know now what i didn't know then"--thank you, gentlekindness.

j.

[gentlekindness]

So true.
Merlin (from King Author) said..."life can only be understood backwards. The problem is ..it has to be lived forwards..."

[gentlekindness]

Sorry typo...King Arthur

[SJ Mullins]

It is a hard thing to live with when one person has to deal with a split that they may not want, and the other does. You do have a way of writing that truly tugs at my emtions. Well done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Suzanna...

j.

[SJ Mullins]

You are most welcome. :) Sleep well!

[Marianne Rose]

I like the metaphor of work for love- no choice but forced retirement from what should be a mutual commitment. We should be vested when we fall in love, able to take out something of what we put in- and hopefully the other matched. Suspended, waiting, wondering if you get to go back to what it was before the suspension, or if it will always be tainted from then on. Severance smile - a nice phrase that calls up that empty handshake, thanks, now clean out your desk, today please. Followed by the pink slip, a dear john email, I guess these days, or something more substantial like divorce papers. Seismic tremor captures that destructive force that tips everything upside-down, a lot of wreckage in the aftermath. It's been a long time since I had anything like this happen to me in love. I also love the ending- a chaotic goodbye to forever- no more ideas of "as long as we both shall live" - not even the slow enough pace to really say goodbye. And snap your fingers, it's done, in a moment, what took a long time to build, gone down a mudslide or washed away in a flood. Anyway, I like this poem a lot, it conveys the shock, the sadness, the anger and the lingering love/loss. Thanks for posting it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your in-depth review of this piece, Marianne...

appreciate your words...

j.

[W.k.kortas]

that's some pretty fierce downsizing. The wordplay is, well, playful, but the overall effect? A little chillier than that. Fine, fine stuff.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, W.k.

j.

[gabrielle]

Sometimes we gave our time and efforts but in the end we are left without security or return of investment.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, gabrielle...
j.

[MOON]

At his this is so clever and insightful, love is work and often sans reward.hearfelt poignant write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Moon.

j.

[Shabeeh Haider]

I like the title and the imagery is awesome.
Painful indeed when a relationship ends in pain. It is a pension for life.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Shabeeh...

j.

[Nisreen]

I experienced a similar situation
And the only thing no one notes

Is the time you gave

and if anything that is all that has mattered or would matter

This is a very witty piece

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i appreciate what you said here, Curiosity...

it's a truth....thanks...

and nice pic!

j.

[Nisreen]

Thank you J :)

[Paul Bell]

One day I felt the love, and the clouds above. When the clouds cleared, I read the lawyers letter. Love wasn't mentioned. Tough one.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like your reply very much...quite poetic and true.

thank you, Paul

j.