Juliet's Exiled Smile

Juliet's Exiled Smile

 

 

your voice

was like a brisk wind

i felt the chill echo

in our breath

 

quivering, i closed my eyes

hoping not to hear your heartbeat freeze

against my longing skin

 

because i finally understood

the winter of us 

was anon...

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/29/16

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

This poem has a soothing, quiet tone. Like a cool embrace, yet, it makes you shiver.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, KL...

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

First four lines are great! As I traveled on my eyes began the embrace of your words.

The chill!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Al..

j.

[V]

Love it. Everything about it. Your word choices, chilling and thrilling in a good way. Highly emotional and so smoothly flowing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Vanessa.

j.

[V]

I truly enjoyed reading. You're welcome.

[Einstein Noodle]

"the winter of us was anon" ..really like that especially
if that isn't time to move on i don't know what is! its the long chill and final freeze that saps life from a longing heart ...and we know it all the while ..we see it ..but just don't want it to happen ...
and it already did ...ages ago :((
love those last two lines!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, E.

j.

[emmajoy]

' I felt the chill echo .. in our breath ' Your phrasing raises the line where words become magic

jacob, this is so harsh and sad a realisation, but, as ever, a sadness wrapped in fine, fine poetry.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, emma...

j.

[Corset]

So many fear winter as the end of something, that trees die and flowers wither and disappear, the days are cold and barren...but the world is merely sleeping snug beneath the white preparing for something so astounding, resting up for the big bloom. This was beautiful J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Corset...
j.