an insect's dilemma

an insect's dilemma

 

 

some of the old structures in the city

looked like Churches with huge steeples

but what went on inside, far from Godliness

 

more like loneliness sated with a few dollars

worth of sin,

and then those big glass windows, no religious morals

on the pane,

just reflections of the faces on paper money

 

city slander of poor lovers

riding in beat up taxis

elevated souls praying for a night of shelter

some holy water to soothe their bellies' betrayal

 

a shot of mischief

makes them forget for a least a few moments

that those cathedral doors

are closed to them,

 

and offerings during the rites of freshly made beds

or the basket of bonuses handed out

as Christmas comes early and often

 

reminds the ants in the concrete village

to watch carefully for where those big shoes

tread.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/29/16

Reviews

[Alfred Kukitz]

Jacob a scathing light into the vortex of your soul offers us the metaphoric understanding of our culture.

In the baseball of poetry we have a grand slam, careful ants he will be rounding the bases.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words,Al...this poem didn't garner much attention...thought maybe it was too convoluted...

appreciate the encouraging words..

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

I don't know 120 visits seem like many!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

visits yes, but few reviews...is what i meant.

i hope your day is good, my friend.

[Marianne Rose]

I love it! Great phrasing mixing the worlds of hypocritical promises and unmet true needs. A sad thing when one realizes that churches doors were once open always, even in my lifetime, and that churches once had the reputation of being sanctuaries for those who needed not just a hot meal and warm bed, but protection from danger. Not so anymore. There is as much or more danger inside those walls where sins are heard but not told, and penance or donations make for a complicit pact between abusers and church authority. The last line is perfect. I also like the many images you used describing the inside beauty of a church - like stained glass windows- that are no longer beautiful if they reflect only greed and selfishness. I can really relate to this one. Thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Marianne.

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

The hypocrisy of the church comes through loud and clear to me in this piece -- beware of what they say they are but are not -- and will crush the lowly ant or anyone else who gets in their way.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, KL...

j.

[andrew mitchell]

haha such vivid imagery of old decaying suburbia, its morals, their survival , churches and yes look out ants, look out ants!!!!.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew.

j.

[Cryingkate]

I agree with baby Ricochet that this write has a flowing mood. so much so, that I'm not tempted to analyze this write but rather flow with it. The flow puts me in the first person narrative.. I feel so small in the city and of non importance.While surrounded by intimidation. Intimidation by those who pretend to be more then what they really are. They are not what they seem. false predators really with evil self interest. Hum they could be Democrats :-)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

interesting angle comes out here...thanks for the visit and your words, Connie.

j.

[Baby Ricochet]

Love the third stanza & the general mood of this.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Mark.

j.