night watch

night watch 


glib sandman
restless mind succumbs
he laughs
she rises from the sheets
of a blank white opportunity

he sits sleepily
drifts into her world
eventual meeting of the ponder
to the pen
to the pillow

sandman frowning
as the smile
in feathered lightness

allows the glow of garrulous
adventure to dim
and the poet to find
blessed stillness of thought
to fabricate a few moments
of slumber...



erin-cilberto
7/28/16

Reviews

[Marianne Rose]

I love the personality of the sandman and his reaction to each phase of this night- glib, laughing, like "ha ha, I got you, and you ain't getting none tonight". I love the double entendre- she rises from the sheets of a blank white opportunity- the lover and the paper both seductive. The lover-muse almost calls him into her world, a tug of war between the sandman and her. She wins of course. For a while- then the muse becomes the sandman, while the poet fabricates a few moments of slumber . . . Okay, I always overthink things, but I found this delightful, even without thinking about it. It has a somewhat mischievous tone- maybe just because I picture this little sandman and this beautiful muse- and who's going to choose him? Enjoyed this one very much. My muse is fast asleep snoring and the sandman is out of town, so maybe I'll just watch TV tonight.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

your response is better than the poem...very much enjoyed the excursion into your thoughts on this one.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

This makes a sleepless night seem VERY appealing. If we can't sleep, why not create a world where sleep is possible....where all things are possible....with a poem. I was drawn to the title. It is the name of a great Rembrandt painting. I will never forget seeing it in Amsterdam. Of course, that has nothing to do with your words....I digress! :) Great write. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

digress all you want to, Lydi...i will travel there with you...

thank you...

j.

[barleygirl]

This gracefully describes my night, last night . . . and many other nights. I love the sheer delight of your delicate word crafting on many levels, esp. stanza 2: gotta love alliteration "ponder, pen, pillow". I'm definitely feeling it . . .

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, barleygirl.

j.

[Baby Ricochet]

I got dreaming up poems out of this. That would be so cool.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, that would...thank you, Mark...

j.

[V]

Excellent word choice and creation of tone/mood. Lovable piece of poetry.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Vanessa...

j.

[V]

You're welcome.

[Nisreen]

I see two poets inspiring one another
is it their bond or the perfect circumstance they both create in their own unity

very sensual

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Curiosity...

j.

[Papaya]

I feel the desire for written love (maybe fantasy) to come to life here and yes I do think it's sexy as others have mentioned. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Ana...:)

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

Okay, maybe it's just me, but does this poem equate the urge to write with the urge to have sex? Maybe I just have a dirty mind. Pardon me. But those cool white sheets are so fun to mess up. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, they are...thanks for the smile, KL..

j.

[Pryde Foltz]

Sublime and subtly sexy. Really nice work on this and the title is on point:

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Pryde.

j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Sliding in and out of dream...trying to grasp hold of fantasy or reality...the lines blurred betwen...I've actually tried to hold tight to my dreams before to pull them with me into my waking world...it never works of course but some dreams are so beautiful it hurts to let go. At least we can try to give them life upon our pages; through poem, story and song...and maybe even share a part of the beauty we have known; the dream we didn't want to let go.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your colorful and insightful review, Fabian...

j.