speed trap

speed trap

 

 

wrinkled blouse

calloused hands roughhousing skin

a few buttons undone

morality takes a back seat

the upholstery says an act of contrition

 

our bodies accelerate into new dimensions

formidable constellations shoot across 

the sky like unwed prayers

 

the stick shift midnight

moves into fifth gear

and our breath takes dangerous curves

 

too fast for the penance

that will never catch up

our conscience will never stay on the road

 

but guardrails of fear

hold us back

we slow down,

confession will last a few less minutes

 

and the rosary hellos

tomorrow will be said

with just a bit less blush.

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/24/16

Reviews

[Tiana]

Wow! You brought back great memories that gave me a big smile! Wonderfully written :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Tiana...

j.

[Gee]

Never ever got to enjoy the coitus contortions in a cars back seat, and it ain't gonna happen now. I'd either put my back out or succumb to cramp. As all others enjoyed your writing Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Gee...sorry you never got to experience it...oh those big old cars without the bucket seats...ah yes.

j.

[Bacchus]

the contrast of the calloused hands fumbling with a blouse is really good.
this is my favorite from you in awhile.

unwed prayers
penance that will never catch up
on this road of conscience....
rosary hellos

the ending reads like you're not truly that sorry...

you shouldn't be,
this piece is gold.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Bacchus...

j.

[Bacchus]

i feel like a need to drink just a little too much wine tonight because of how good this one was.read morei feel like a need to drink just a little too much wine tonight because of how good this one was.
thanks j.

[Lyn Anderson]

Ah Catholic guilt and back seat contrition. There is so much here -- how we are raised shapes so many of our memories in distinct ways -- this captures that so perfectly.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you KL..:)))

[Pryde Foltz]

Wow ... this is an amazing piece. The metaphor and the mood they create ... no punches pulled. Bravo:):):)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Pryde.

j.

[LastMonth]

It's really hard to say more with less.

Your poem oozes with subtleness and an almost suave way to hint at things.
You don't downright -say- anything, you just describe the crusting of it.

This is a pretty good poem, especially the way you chose to end it.
I feel bad for not having anything constructive to add to this,

I'll just conclude by saying I enjoyed it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, LastMonth...

j.

[Dhaye]

Your lines rapidly sent picture scenes just like in a movie I watch. :)
Thank you for sharing this poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Dhaye.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Smiling here....Saturday night at the submarine races and then confession on Sunday?? I dated a Catholic guy way back when. He told me he would confess everything we did to the priest. That was the last time I dated him! It was like having an invisible voyeur in the car with us! LOL You brought back memories with this one, Jacob. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like that..the invisible voyeur...
thanks, Lydi..
j.

[Papaya]

I am blushing. Just a little though.
Mostly I'm smiling. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Ana...:)))

[Baby Ricochet]

Makes me think about having sex at NASCAR. Man is that place noisy. The third stanza's my fave

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks, Mark.

j.