the new head of state

the new head of state

 

 

i sift through the dewdrops

but can't tell the difference

between blades of memories and

the tears reigning in my heart

 

i am the king of consequence

the ruler of a saturated kingdom

of circumstance

a floundering leader of past subjects

 

none of which has a positive verb

to knight,

those have been banished without recompense

 

yet i am still paying

the duty tax

for sharing my castle with you

more years than the fairy tale

could allow,

 

now the fractured crown

rests atop 

the perpetual frown

that rules my soul

 

because dignity, my beloved queen,

overthrew me years ago.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/23/16

Reviews

[Paul Bell]

Ah, dignity, such an emotive word.
I kept my dignity to the very end.
She was so dignified in the way she kicked my life into touch.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Paul.

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

In some relationships, we really do feel like we lose our dignity, and when that happens, whatever love was there ceases to matter, because losing ourselves becomes intolerable. A metaphor for personal relationships that can be translated into politics.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, KL...
j.

[Mai L Nissen]

I do not know exactly what inspired this poem, politics or more private experiences; however, the wording sweeps away my legs underneath me! Especially these two passages are deliciously put:
"i am the king of consequence
the ruler of a saturated kingdom
of circumstance"

"now the fractured crown
rests atop
the perpetual frown
that rules my soul"

I am left with a bit of frustration and sadness.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Mai.

j.

[W.k.kortas]

The crown lies heavy, and a bit askew it seems. The wordplay here is, even by your lofty standards, simply masterful.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, W.k.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Years after a relationship is over, there are still unresolved feelings....still a price to pay. Considering the time of year with the RNC last week and the DNC this week, I thought this would be a political poem. Pleased it was not! The emotions are honest and raw....and the metaphor is splendid. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi...yes, the conventions speak enough for themselves and just speak enough in general...

don't need to comment on those.
thanks for your kind words,

j.

[redzone]

I know this poem is about loss, "dignity" and "past subjects", about still holding onto a love that is no longer there, and yet is it that line about "a floundering leader of past subjects" that took me in a direction of there will come a time when kings and queens and castles will sit not only in museums of history, but also in our thinking and even as metaphor.. replaced by more the equals in equality and coming together not as kings and or queens but as common folk and voluntary associating human beings overall and in how we love each other in more personal ways... even our metaphors will have a different language, not that the pain of loss won't exist, but that we will see and express it differently...

back to your poem, besides the line I mentioned, I was struck by "more years than the fairy tale/could allow"... yes, fairy tales do get lost in the same way that moat around the castle can dry up... you often write the poem that I was thinking/feeling, but of course in much much better verse...

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind in your reviews, Curt---i appreciate your encouraging words...

j.

[Baby Ricochet]

Powerful wording in this piece that speaks of a weary depression brought about by time & disappointment. Good one

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Mark...

j.

[barleygirl]

Now THIS is a single metaphor stretched in every direction to the absolute limits of imagination! *smile* When I saw the title, I thought it would be a political rant, but glad to find it wasn't. Nicely leaves something to the reader's imagination, too!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, barleygirl...:)))

[Nisreen]

Love the last two lines
I guess every man wants to feel king with his lover
And every woman wants to be the queen of his heart
But in every kingdom there are rules to ensure everyone keeps their position in good will
Once anything is violated pain reigns the kingdom

Clever one :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Curiosity...

j.